“Shit, I didn’t mean . . .”
But Erik didn’t mind. “Cierra, relax, you’re fine,” he managed between chuckles. “You’re not wrong.”
After her heart rate went down, she exhaled and looked at him. Maybe it was exhaustion from the day or the wine or a combination, but she felt like answering his question. The original one. She needed to put the musings inside her head somewhere, needed to just get it out.
“This trip has been amazing. You guys are great. I’ve been so relaxed and for the first time in a while, I felt my mind go blank. I’m not thinking about Julian, or thisPlatedapplication, or my Instagram or . . . anything.” Erik just stood, nodding and listening. No judgment apparent in his eyes. “I’ve been in this mode of go-go-go and didn’t realize how tired I was until coming here. Finally having some time to sit down.” She felt her chest tightening and took a deep breath. She exhaled again. “It’s been really nice, is what I’m trying to say.” Tapping the countertop, Cierra gave a sad smile. “I wish I had one more day.”
Erik narrowed his eyes, as if he were conflicted, biting the inside of his cheek. “I’m gonna be up for at least another couple hours. I was gonna sit outside, enjoy the quiet for a bit longer. You’re welcome to join. We don’t have to talk, or anything. Unless you want to.”
More than usual, she noticed the gleam and softness of his greenish-brown eyes. They reminded her of the calming woods that surrounded them. “Yeah, sure. That’d be nice.”
“Here,” he said, brushing past her and opening the fridge to grab a few beers. “And let me take that,” he said, almost demandingly, and took the glass she was holding. “Follow me.”
As she walked behind him, a sense of nervousness came over her. They had certainly become friendlier over the past couple of months, but Cierra was still unsure of how familiar or professional she should be around him. Were they really friends? Or was she just a cheerful baking background character in the movie of his life? His sister-in-law also happened to be her meal ticket, and Cierra was wary of doing anything that could upset her. Zelda seemed suspicious of outsiders, or any woman who seemed the least bit opportunistic; the conversation in the kitchen earlier in the day had made that clear.
Still, Cierra followed him out the back door. There was no harm in talking, and she wanted to soak in as much of theproperty as she could before they left the following day — even its midnight offerings. They walked past the pool and into a clearing further down the lawn, close to where the property line met the woods. Downhill, the porch light was no longer in view.
“Have you been here before?” Cierra asked, as he obviously seemed familiar with the territory.
“Oh, yeah, Elliot and I came here as kids almost every summer with family friends. Now we come with Zelda. And whoever else happens to be around, really.”
“Do you ever get tired of sharing the space?”
Erik laughed. “Have you seen how big that thing is?” He cracked open one of the beers. “No, it’s nice having the place full of people.” After opening the other for Cierra, they tapped their cans together amicably.
On the soft ground, Cierra rolled the flannel shirt she’d been wearing into a make-shift pillow and lay down. The night sky was illuminated by a half-moon, still bright enough to make out small clouds and plenty of stars. Beside her, Erik leaned back on his elbows, looking so natural in his pose it was as if he had grown out of the ground.
True to his word, the pair relaxed and sipped on their lagers, periodically mumbling something about the trip or plans they had once they arrived back in New York. Erik told her about how he had tried one of her recipes (and was, of course, very impressed). Occasionally, during lulls in conversation when they’d look to the sky or out towards the black forest outlines, she thought she’d caught him glancing at her. And when she did, instead of turning away, she felt heat radiating from her core. Her heart would beat just a bit faster under his stare, which surprised her. But it was dark, and he could have been looking at anything, really.
“So, what’s keeping you up?” Cierra asked. They had to have been out there for at least an hour.
Letting out a sigh, Erik grinned slightly before his expression went back to something more pensive. “I’m a night owl.”
“Mm. I’m more of a morning person.”
“That tracks.” He took another swig and then turned to face her. “Nah, it’s a mix. I mean, Idostay up late. But I guess if something is bothering me, or if I have something on my mind, I can’t get it out of my head until I’ve explored what feels like every little angle of it.” He made a circular motion with his pointer finger near his temple. “Once it’s late, the racing thoughts just go into overdrive sometimes.”
Cierra took another drink of her beer and frowned. “Sounds like a bad habit for a night owl.”
He laughed. “Yeah, not the best.” Instead of elaborating on Cierra’s question, he asked, “What about you? What’s going on in that big mind of yours?”
She twisted her mouth. “It probably sounds immature, or simple or whatever, but sometimes I just want things to be easy. And they feel that way here. I think that’s why I don’t want to leave.”
“Are thingsnoteasy right now?”
Cierra shifted her hands. While she was mildly cautious of oversharing, she wasn’t worried about being perceived as “too much” around Erik. They talked all the time, and during this conversation she came to realize how much they really had become friends. This wasn’t some guy she needed to worry about impressing romantically, like Julian. She could just be herself. He was attractive and kind, sure. But even if she had feelings for Erik, it’s not like anything would come of it.
“Not really, no.”
“Boy problems?”
With a reluctant smirk, Cierra threw some torn up grass at Erik and sighed. “Not a problem anymore, if that saysanything. I’m beginning to think I’m doomed when it comes to relationships.”
“Things can always change,” Erik said, his gaze focused on her in a way she hadn’t seen before. “You have so much to offer, Cierra. I think I’ve spent enough time with you to know you shouldn’t waste a second on anyone who doesn’t make you feel that way.” Her breath caught at his words, the way he said them as he looked at her.
No, he couldn’t . . .
“What happened between you and Nadine?” she asked hurriedly, shifting the attention back toward him and breaking their trance. “Is that why you seemed down earlier this morning?”
