Out of the eighteen kids in her class, she was one of two that weren’t white.
“Is it because I’m brown like you?”
Her mom’s mouth turned downward. “Things are a little different for us. I need you to be extra good, because we need toset an example. You understand? You can’t give some people any reason to believe the bad things that they already think about people like us.”
Returning to the present with Julian, Cierra sighed. “Probably started when I was a kid,” she said flatly. “My parents — my mom, especially — made it clear early on I needed to try harder than my peers.”
Julian tilted his head with a knowing look. “I get it. My parents were so set on me fitting in they barely spoke Spanish around me. I mean, I know they were just trying their best, but still.” He raised his eyebrows with wide eyes, and Cierra laughed awkwardly. There was a kinship among people like them, trying to forge ahead in a world that didn’t look like them. A world that, often not explicitly, encouraged people to screen themselves. Cierra had been doing it for so long, that even changing her hairstyle as an adult felt like a daring expression of individuality. It felt good to be with someone who didn’t just sympathize but understood from experience.
“All right, therapy session is officially over,” Cierra exclaimed while unlocking her seat belt. “We’re gonna be late for this movie.”
“Yes, yes. Let’s go, but don’t you dare get out before I open the door. Got it?”
Cierra flushed at his demand. “Yes, sir.”
“Good.”
The movie festival ended up being a fascinating — and at times, confusing — combination of short films. At one point during a scene featuring an alien studying a (scantily clad) human body, Julian whispered, “Who knew aliens were so horny?”
This elicited a laugh from Cierra and a dirty look from the couple in front of them. Julian just shrugged. He kept his hand on her thigh for most of the film, and whenever he’d slightlysqueeze or even stroke his thumb, she felt electric shocks travel directly from her legs to an area untouched for ages. Cierra was in a fantasy realm of her own for most of the movie.
As the restaurant was just a ten-minute walk from the theater, they opted to walk along the lively avenues of lower Manhattan until they reached the charming hole-in-the wall. It had a burgundy awning and a chalk sign with the daily special: Duck confit. Upon the sommelier’s recommendation, they ordered a bottle of Sancerre with an assortment of small plates.
“This might be the best wine I’ve ever tasted,” Cierra said with astonishment after her first sip.
“I’ll have to remember that then,” Julian replied, before taking a sip himself. “Have you ever been to Napa Valley?”
“Can’t say I have.”
“We should go together sometime.”
Cierra twisted her mouth. “You’re not serious.”
“I very much am. Do you like travelling?”
Cierra shifted. “I do, but haven’t done as much as I would have liked.” She thought of Positano, of all the times she bookmarked places to go, but never did because of her schedule, or lack of funds, or both. “Going to Mexico was so much fun, but obviously it’s not ideal working most of the time.”
“Yeah, I can imagine.”
“But as soon as I get more settled, I definitely want to. It’s a goal of mine.”
“Mine too. Maybe we can help each other. Where should we go first?”
She smiled, thinking about what a vacation would be like with him. They looked good together, didn’t they? The picture of Harry and Melanie came back to her, but it left her mind just as quickly as it had entered.
All the courses had been delicious at dinner, and Julian offered to drive Cierra home after he’d settled the bill (when Cierra reached for her wallet, he’d told her to stop being ridiculous, which she’d loved). He found a parking spot near Cierra’s apartment and shut off the engine. They both unbuckled their seat belts but were mutually reluctant to end the night. Instead, they looked at each other with big smiles until they started giggling, as if they were high schoolers staying out past curfew.
Julian rubbed his index finger along his bottom lip, deep in thought, while maintaining eye contact with Cierra, kind of like a jungle cat.
“What is it?” Cierra asked playfully.
“I just wasn’t expecting you,” he said simply. Cierra gazed into his warm brown eyes and thought back to their night in Central Park, when Julian said he’d go at her pace. All their time spent together had so far felt like a dream. Each time she opened up, whether about her past relationship or her career doubts, he’d always been supportive. Their dates had all been brilliantly planned, and there was no doubt in her mind that the feelings bubbling up inside her were reciprocated. Looking back at him, she could envision them together. As something more. And based on how he’d been acting, like calling her when she was out of town and making travel plans, maybe all he needed was a go-ahead.
When Cierra was with Colton, their relationship was filled with fun and passion and heat, but it was one-sided. With Harry she had over-corrected. In exchange for a sense of stability, she ultimately settled with someone who, despite being a great guy, never lit her spark. And that wasn’t fair to him either; she could see that now. But with Julian, she was inches away from someone who seemed to have everything.
She bit her lip, thinking of what to say next. “I’m not that tired, to be honest. Wanna have a night cap?”
His eyes lit up at her invitation. “Absolutely. But, are you sure?”
