Cierra was realizing just how much the quitting situation bothered him, and she began fiddling with her hair, rapidly brainstorming ways to appease him. Over the years, they had learned how to manage most of their disagreements. But Cierracould tell she had crossed a previously impermeable line in Harry’s brain. She was trying to figure out her angle, how best to calm him down.The drone comment . . . that wasn’t great,she thought to herself.
“I don’t want this anymore, Cee,” Harry said softly, almost in a whisper.
Cierra stood dumbfounded. He couldn’t be saying what she thought he was saying.
“Harry, if this is about the job . . . I can get the job back. What do you mean?”
He looked at her with pitying eyes. “You know what I’m saying, Cierra.”Cierra.He hadn’t called her that in . . . well, he never called her that. “I don’t think this relationship is for me anymore. For us. I think we should break up.” The way he said it came too easily for someone she had been with for the past six years. He spoke with a disturbingly practiced ease.
Maybe he had been practicing when he got coffee earlier that morning. Cierra envisioned him walking up and down their street, mouthing words to himself, reciting the lines that were going to crash into her life like a wrecking ball.
She was in shock. There was no wayhecould break up withher. “Harry, no. No, you’re overreacting. I should have asked you about it beforehand, sure, but it was to help me — helpus. You don’t actually want to break up. How can a decision like this—” Her voice caught, as the gravity of what was happening came crashing down and tears welled in her eyes.That damned audition, she thought. He was far too calm. “Unless . . . you’vebeenthinking about this?”
Harry looked down at his coffee cup. “I’ve been thinking about it . . . I mean, I haven’t been actively thinking about it every day or anything . . .” He shook his head. “Cierra, my heart just isn’t in this anymore, even before you missed theanniversary and everything. Honestly, can you really say you haven’t felt the same?”
“Don’t you dare turn this on me. Don’t even try. You never got over me switching careers and ruining whatever picture-perfect vision you had of us being some basic couple who goes skiing twice a year. And now, when I’m finally doing something about it — you decide you don’t want me anymore?”
“Cierra! It’s not like that. I still care about you, but . . . something is just missing. If wanting free time and nice things and a bigger apartment makes me basic, then I don’t care. And you know what? You quit because you felt like it — it sure as shit wasn’t for me.” He placed his hands in his lap, calming himself.
“You know, sometimes, I think back to when we met. How you were just getting over that guy you dated in college.”
“Colton,” she muttered with a shiver.
“Right,” Harry said, her visceral reaction all these years later confirming his suspicions. “Sometimes I wonder if you were just into me because, I don’t know . . .”
“What?” Cierra said, alarmed by his suggestion. “No, no, it wasn’t like that.”
Instead of responding, Harry hung his head low. He began rubbing his palms and staring into his hands as if he were staring into a time machine.
“Remember that ring appointment we had a year back?” he asked.
Cierra remembered. They had finally booked an appointment to look at engagement rings, but had to cancel. She was called in at the last minute for a dinner shift.
“Don’t you think it says something that neither of us ever mentioned rescheduling?”
“I mean, maybe? So what if we were taking our time? It never seemed like a priority for us . . . we . . .” Her tears and shallow breathing were making it difficult for words to come out. “Wait,is this why you haven’t proposed? Because you’ve been secretly deciding if you wanted todumpme instead?”
“Jesus, Cee . . . I’m notdumpingyou.” Cierra made a face at his comment, and he replied, “I think we want different things out of life. Are you still in love with me?”
“Am I in love with you?” That hit Cierra like a blow to the chest. “Of course I love you. We’ve been together—”
“Ah, ah — no. I asked, are youinlove with me?” Harry repeated.
Cierra paused, and after a few silent seconds went by, he muttered, “That’s what I thought.”
“All right, so we’re in a lull. We’ve been together for a long time . . . it’s normal. We’ll get through this. Just please, please, don’t do this.” But deep down, Cierra knew she was way past bargaining. Deeper down, maybe, that he was partially right.
“Cierra. Cee . . .” He shook his head, and this time his voice broke. “I’m done. And I think this is the best decision for the both of us. I’ve already talked to James, and I can stay with him and Amber for a bit. Since our lease is up at the end of next month anyways, you can have the place until then.”
Cierra watched as Harry rose out of the seat to retrieve a packed duffel bag by the door.
Wow.
As the latch clicked and the door closed, Cierra stood alone and dumbfounded in their apartment. With no job, no bagel, and no relationship, she collapsed onto the couch and sobbed for the rest of the afternoon.
CHAPTER TWO
CIERRA SPENT THE next twenty-four hours locked in the apartment without talking to a soul. Harry, the man she thought would never leave her in a million years, had done so in just six. What had she not seen? The news must have spread quickly, because when she woke up the next morning, she had missed calls from Mia, her closest friend.
