YOU KNOW I’M CRAZY ABOUT you, right?” Ian brushed back my hair. I loved it when he did that.
Normally, I would have replied, “Yes, but I’m crazier for you.” But not tonight. Believe me, I was more than crazy for him. I was head over heels, shut the front door, stop the presses in love with him, and I had decided tonight was the night I was going to tell him. Before I did, I reached up on my tiptoes, tugged on his shirt to pull him closer, and kissed those lips of his once. Then I went in for the kill. “I love you, Ian Greyson.”
He faltered back and swallowed hard with a deer-in-a-headlight look.
Okay, that wasn’t the reaction I wanted, but this was Ian, so I wasn’t too surprised. After all, I was the one who pursued him. Even though he thought I was too young, he eventually relented. I was eighteen at the time, and he was twenty-five going on sixty. I smiled nervously and stepped closer to him. “Ian, it’s okay if you don’t say it back right now. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer.” I wrapped my arms around him, waiting for him to reciprocate, but he was stiffer than his starched collar. “Ian?”
“Kelli, you’re too young to be in love.”
I leaned away from him and laughed. “Did you really just say that?” Sometimes he sounded like my dad.
“Why do you have to complicate things?” He sounded angry.
“How is me loving you complicating things? Because, FYI,” I poked his chest. “I’ve been in love with you for months.”
It was true, and I had calculus to blame. I was a pretty smart girl—I even had a full-ride to my little private college set against the beautiful Rocky Mountains in Colorado—but for some reason, I couldn’t get calculus, and I needed to in order to keep my full-ride. That’s when I met Ian. He was in grad school, completing his MBA, and to make some extra money, he tutored. It was the best money my dad ever spent.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw him sitting in the campus library, looking more serious than any twenty-five-year-old should flipping through the Wall Street Journal, but there was something about him. I don’t think most women noticed him, and that was a shame because once you got past his serious exterior, he was a charming and considerate fellow. And he was actually quite handsome, but that was muted by his clothing and quiet mannerisms. He had dark brown hair with a slight curl that begged you to run your hands through it, and those Hershey Kiss eyes of his were easy to get lost in. His strong jaw line that was always cleanly shaven and smooth didn’t hurt either. He was like Clark Kent. He even wore the same thick glasses as him. And even though Ian dressed like a forty-year-old in khakis and polos, to me he was adorable.
“This wasn’t in my plan. I’m not ready for this kind of commitment,” he stammered.
Ian had his whole life mapped out, and he wanted to map mine out, too, but I refused. Sure, I liked goals and a rough outline, but I also liked the freedom to do what seemed right in the moment, regardless of plans. Besides, I was young, and he was too, but somehow, he always forgot that. Don’t get me wrong, I loved his drive and dedication, but he really needed to simmer down sometimes. I succeeded, once in a while, in getting him to take it down a notch or two, but it was a hard job—a job I dearly loved.
“Ian, I’m not asking you to commit to me for life . . . yet,” I teased.
He didn’t look amused at all, so I kept talking.
“I’m happy where we’re at. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I’m not expecting anything from you.”
He narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together before he began to pace back and forth in front of my apartment. I stood in front of the door and watched him. The summer breezes I loved so much ruffled his hair. The beautiful Colorado weather was one of the reasons I had decided to stay the summer term after my freshman year instead of going back home to Tennessee. But it was mostly because of the distraught man in front of me. I started to wonder if that was a mistake now.
As he walked past me, I grabbed onto his hand. “Ian . . .”
He looked at me with eyes as hard as stone. I wasn’t sure I had ever seen him look so cold; it gave me shivers in the warm summer air.
“Why did you have to ruin everything, Kelli?” He sounded half determined and half in despair.
My eyes pooled with tears. In the nine months we had been dating, Ian had never made me cry. “Ian, what are you saying? Forget I said anything. I’m sorry.”
He let go of my hand. “I’m sorry too, Kelli,” his voice cracked.
And that was it. He left me standing there, inconsolable with tears silently falling down my cheeks, feeling like January in July.
I TOOK A MOMENT ON the way to my car before work to stop and gaze longingly at my apartment complex’s pool. I pictured me sipping cold fruity drinks while floating on the unicorn inflatable my nieces bought me. It was only February, but I could almost taste spring. I knew I should probably enjoy the season because soon enough I’d be complaining about the heat and humidity Tennessee residents suffered through every spring and summer, but I felt like saying, “Bring it on.” The winter had been harsher than we Southerners are used to.But I had survived four winters in Colorado. It was hard to believe that it had been almost a decade ago that I’d received my undergrad degree. It kind of made me feel grown up, especially today. I had a feeling I would be receiving some good news today.
My stomach fluttered at the thought of being promoted to Marketing Director of Chandler Media. I wasn’t the only candidate in the running, but I was the only in-house candidate even though that ruffled some feathers at work because of my age. Maybe I was a little young to be heading up a marketing firm, but as Regional Marketing Manager I had proven myself. Our financial institution clients were adopting my idea for digital ad software rapidly and—not to be immodest—I was well liked by my colleagues, even the old-timers who got their feathers ruffled. And it didn’t hurt that Gary, the owner and current director, and his wife Holly loved me like a daughter.
I only hoped now that Gary was ready to retire and enjoy moretime with his wife and grandkids, that he trusted me enough to hand over the reins. I would sorely miss him. I loved sharing adjoining executive offices with him. He was more than my boss; he was like a second father to me.
I took one more second to look at the pool before heading to the parking lot. Climbing into my little convertible made me wish for spring even more. I missed the fun and the freedom of having the wind blow through my hair while the sun beat down on me as I drove. I swore the car was begging for me to push the button and slide the top down. “Just a few more weeks,” I said aloud, as if the car was actually listening to me or really cared if its top was down.
As I made my way through early morning Nashville traffic, I could barely contain my excitement. I was meeting with Gary, who I fondly called Boss, first thing. I dressed up for the occasion. Our office typically took a more casual approach, unless we had clients in the office, but with the way technology was now, that was a rarity. I had done more conference calls than I could count. Personally, I liked face-to-face visits best, but they could be inconvenient and expensive. Today I looked like I was ready for a face-to-face visit with a classy charcoal gray dress that left no doubt I was a woman, and my glammed up dark hair. To pull it all together, I brought out the red lipstick. It made my fair skin and blue-green eyes pop. I hoped it screamed,I’m ready to take on the world!Or at least Chandler Media.
When I pulled into our office parking lot, there were already a few cars there. I noticed Boss’ midlife-crisis Camaro. I laughed when I remembered Holly telling Boss she didn’t mind the car, but if he ever decided to indulge in other midlife crisis activities, he would be sleeping in that car. I knew Boss never would. He still looked at Holly like a man who had wandered in the desert, and she was a tall glass of cool water. I noticed Delfia’s car next. She was the most fabulous executive admin assistant ever. She usually beat me to the office. Next to her car was a stylish white Infiniti. I smiled and wondered who got the new car, but then I noticed the Colorado license plates.Weird, I thought.
The license plate had me reminiscing. I loved Colorado. I missed the Rocky Mountains, with the hiking and camping in the summer andthe amazing powder for skiing in the winter. It was the only time I had enjoyed snow. I think I would have stayed there if I hadn’t been a lovesick fool. Everything in Colorado had reminded me of Ian, so as soon as I graduated, I hightailed it out of there. Ugh. What a morning to think about him. I needed positive happy vibes. I wasn’t going to be rejected today by another man. I was going to go upstairs and claim my promotion.
I took a deep breath and tried to cleanse my thoughts of the evil Ian, killer of dreams and love. I began to repeat in my head,Director of Marketing at Chandler Media, Kelli Bryant. It sounded perfect. I chanted it to myself silently as I walked in through the empty reception area. It was only 7:30, and we didn’t open until 8:00. By the time I made it to the staircase, I was feeling cleansed of the foulness that was Ian. With my thoughts back on track, I took the stairs two at a time to the executive level. This was going to be an incredible day. I could feel it.
