“Ha! Good luck with that.” Brenn called from across the deck.
Just as Brenn finished the words, a heavy door swung wide open, and Veylan appeared, stumbling out of his room andteetering across the ship to the wheel, clad in his thick furs and leathers. “Let’s get a move on. The sooner I get you fools off my boat, the better.” He grasped the wheel, taking a swig of drink from a flask before pointing with it towards the horizon. “Around the mountains and up the river. Then you all get off my ship and never involve me in your business again.”
“Quite a bargain.” Asterious narrowed his eyes at the man, watching him carefully as he set them on their course from the docks. The ship cut through the icy waters with ease, navigating the coast where snow-banked rocky edges gave way to deep velvet waves rolling in from the sea itself.
He tore into a piece of dried deer meat he’d found in the galley, walking over to Caramyn, who stood near the bow of the ship, watching the blue water below as they sailed between the fjords.
“Are you hungry?” He handed her a piece of jerky, and she took it with a slight nod. “Sorry it’s not Crisyn’s pastries you like. But it’s something.”
A small laugh escaped Caramyn’s lips. “I miss Azell. I miss everyone—well, except Wryan.”
“Wyran.” The name tasted bitter in Asterious’ mouth. “A snake in the grass. I ordered the others not to let him leave. I don’t know what else he would do in my absence. I don’t understand what it is about you that’s made him so hostile.” He stared ahead. “It feels like another person I’ve lost, but in a different way. I trusted him so much, but now I fear I don’t know who he truly is.”
“He’s shown you who he truly is for a long time Asterious. He gets in your head and uses it against you. But you try so hard to see the good in people, even when they don’t deserve it.
“I still haven’t decided if it’s a weakness or a strength.”
“Maybe both.” Caramyn shrugged. “But there has to be a line.”
“I guess I finally found it at the edge of the Shadow Woods.”
He said it through clenched teeth, half-joking, but the truth was much harsher. The line hadn’t been crossed when Wyran flogged him until he bled, or when he’d driven knives into his own flesh at Wyran’s command, all in the name of “discipline.” It hadn’t been when Wyran spoke openly of his hatred for magic, or of what a pity it was that Asterious was a tainted half-Lightborn.
None of that had been the line, because Asterious hadn’t been looking for one. He’d made excuses, told himself he owed Wyran his freedom, only to realize too late that it had been another kind of prison. Wyran hadn’t chained his body. He’d caged his mind. And the line hadn’t been drawn by anything done to him, because he could endure it.
But the moment Wyran hurt Caramyn, the line became unmistakably clear as day.
“What do you plan to tell him when we get back?” White fog puffed from her reddened lips with each word, and she buried her nose into her cloak.
Asterious tilted his head, never taking his eyes off her. “I’m going to tell him to fall at your feet and beg for your forgiveness...because he’ll never gain mine.” He caught a glimpse of the small smile she tried to hide just before it flickered from her face. She looked away, refocusing on the open water ahead.
For a while, there was only the sound of the churning water and creaking ship, and the sound of Brenn uttering things back and forth with the captain. Until Asterious could no longer stave off his curiosity. “Speaking of deception, how do you know thisBrennis trustworthy?” The question must have caught Caramyn off guard by the way she blinked and shot a quick glance over.
“How do you know he isn’t?” Caramyn asked, dropping a curled fist on the hull. “If he hadn’t healed me, I might not haveeven survived. And if it weren’t for his help with the poison, I might still be getting passed amongst Frostlords as we speak.”
Asterious grimaced at the thought of those vile men anywhere near Caramyn, and he had to draw in a slow breath and focus on his heartbeat to keep the wolf in him tame. The chill of the cold didn’t feel so bitter anymore as something like fire rose within him.
“Then for that, I suppose I owe him a chance to prove himself. But if he truly thinks I hate his kind, he’s certainly a bold fool to wield it in front of me so carelessly the way he does.”
“A bold fool…or simply bold? Because he doesn’t hide who he really is? It’s what we’re so used to doing, isn’t it? You and me. We’ve spent so long hiding who we are, it seems dangerous to finally meet someone who doesn’t.” Her stare cut him like the cold. “Maybe it’s time we consider that the parts we hide might just be our greatest strengths.”
“I’ve considered it. But I don’t want that strength if it costs me everything,” he sighed.
She held his gaze, the wind sending wisps of her hair flying out from beneath her hood. Asterious reached up to sweep her hair back, and then hesitated, withdrawing his outstretched hand as soon as he had lifted it. He couldn’t risk touching her here.
“And what of you, my lovely mystery?” he asked, closing his fist at his hip. “Are you so bold now to let the world see the Witch of the Shadow Woods?”
“I don’t want to hide anymore,” she said. “Not the mark, and not what I am. The Shadow Woods gave me a purpose, and I’m done believing I should be ashamed of it.” As she spoke, her voice strengthened with each word, and something lit up within him as she went on. “If the world sees me as an enemy, then let it. I’ll walk this path if there’s a chance at saving what’s left of this kingdom…and a chance at saving you.”
Those final words caught him off guard, and his heart sank.
“Don’t do this to try to save me, Caramyn.” He stepped forward, placing his hand next to hers on the hull, but still ensuring space between them. “Do not make my burden yours. Don’t you dare find your strength only for my sake. Do it foryours. I will not allow my wretched heart to be the cause of your undoing.”
“You can’t ruin me like you think you can. I’m stronger than that.”
“I could very much ruin you, Caramyn of the Shadow Woods.” Heat rose in his face at the thought of his body entwining with hers, in a dance of passion that he could hardly imagine without destroying him right then and there. A kind of heat that coiled around him and surged down to the stiffening feeling between his legs.
“Even if I say it isn’t because of you, I’d be lying. And we promised not to do that anymore, didn’t we?” she said, blinking at the wind. “Because of you, I was pulled from my solitude to witness the world falling into a darkness I thought could never touch me again. Because of you, I had to face the uncomfortable truth that there are those in this world who cannot outrun it—who have no means to fight back. And because of you, I have realized that darkness does not rise because it is stronger, but because no one chooses to stand against it.” She reached for his hand, then stopped herself. “And I refuse to believe any of that means I must sacrifice the hope of saving you.”
