“Her mother? How? Shadowbloods aren’tborn.They were…well—made…at the Shattering.” Tyrios stuttered. “How can that be?”
“I…I don’t know. And she claimed she didn’t understand it either.” The prince glanced between them. “But it doesn’t matter now. You know as well as I do that Shadow amplifies my curse. I cannot let her come with us. I can’t risk this thing taking over out in the open again. I can’t risk killing you all and being trapped as a monster forever.” Asterious hung his head.
“We don’t know for sure that she’s the only way to the weapon.” Gariel interjected. “We were close before.”
“Yes, we were. And then we foundher.” Asterious nodded, taking another swig of his drink. “I don’t know what fate we will meet by venturing in there without her. Which is why I will be the only one going in to find the Blade without any of you. My curse might serve useful for once if it at least gives me a chance of surviving long enough to find it. But I won’t risk any of you.”
“That’s admirable, Asterious, but you know we will gladly give our lives for your cause if need be.” Tyrios clasped his hands together and leaned forward on the table.
“I do know that. And that’s why you are not dispensable to me. I will not risk your lives for mine.” Asterious looked down at his nearly empty cup before speaking again. “I’ll figure out how to get through the Shadow Woods, even if I have to do it alone.” He said, trying to convince himself as much as them. “Speaking of the girl, I haven’t had a chance to inform Azell of the change in arrangements. I need to give her the key so she can bring her breakfast. Wyran, do you still have it?”
He held out a hand to Wyran as he stood, scanning the large hall for any sign of Azell. Wryan stood as well and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I can bring a meal up to her, Your Highness,” he offered. “To spare you the trouble.”
“Hmm, all right.” Asterious raised an eyebrow, putting his hand back by his side. “I assume last night was uneventful?”
“Quiet as death, inside and out.” Wryan selected a plate of fruit, poached eggs, and oatmeal and exited the great hall.
Asterious watched him until he was out of sight and then sat back down with his head in his hands. Something felt wrong. But he concluded his mind was too burdened to differentiate the sense of foreboding from stress. There was truly so much to be done, with no idea if any of it was truly the right answer. Time was running out for his sister, the kingdom—and for him. And he was beginning to doubt himself.
A few moments later, hurried footsteps burst through the dining hall, demanding everyone’s attention. The prince whirled around to see Wryan, his face looking like he’d just dropped something fragile and valuable and watched it shatter on the floor.
“Prince Asterious!” He spat out the words as if he was going to choke on them if he didn’t speak fast enough. “The girl is gone! She must’ve escaped this morning!”
“What? How? She wouldn’t…” He should just let her leave. He shouldn’t care if she was gone. But he did.
“There’s no sign of her. The door was unlocked.”
“And you’re certain you have the key?”
Wyran pulled the key from his pocket and held it up, something smug about his movements.
Asterious shook his head. “I want round-the-clock guards posted everywhere we can spare. Be vigilant. I’ve angered her. She could be hiding out in the castle somewhere waiting to take her revenge.” That wasn’t true. That wasn’t true at all. But it was the only thing he could think of to justify why he would order his men to waste their time looking for her when there were far greater things at stake.
“We’ll search for her all we can while you’re gone, Your Highness,” a guardsman reassured from the hall.
“I won’t be gone today.” Asterious said, earning himself shocked expressions from Riven, Tyrios, and Gariel. “Not until she’s found. We’ll push off the journey— at least for one more day.”
“Your Highness, we can’t afford much more time.” Riven said.
“Just one more day.” He swallowed, looking straight ahead.
“Isn’t this what you wanted, Asterious?” Wyran asked, stepping close. “She’s gone. You were going to send her away later today anyway.”
“Y—yes. It is what I wanted.” The prince stuttered, not sure why he couldn’t explain the sinking feeling in his heart. And not sure why it was even there, as he watched the dining hall clear out as his men went to search the castle. “Just...not like this.”
No further words were spoken amongst the five, and they disbanded. Asterious saddled his horse to search the grounds, the forests, and the cliffs by the sea, and he stayed out searching until the moon called him back.
He wished he could have at least said goodbye, and that he could’ve at least watched her ride away on Frasya and known she was safe. And he wished he knew why he cared. He’d disciplined himself not to lose control to grief, pain, anger, or even joy—and he had the scars to prove it. But he’d never prepared himself for this kind of feeling that seemed to have complete power over him. A feeling he could not name and therefore did not know how to defeat.
As he rode beneath the stars in the crisp night air, he questioned everything he thought he knew and forced himself to accept that if Caramyn was truly gone, he’d give anything to change the last thing he said to her, because it stung like salt in a wound, replaying in his head.
I never want to see you again.
36
Somewhere Terrible
Caramyn
