Kenton reached out a hand and flipped a few strands out of place so they hung over her shoulder and down her chest.
She automatically went to flick them back and re-smooth her hair, when he gently urged, “Leave it as it is, Penn.”
She anxiously slid her hands up and down her thighs as if to distract herself from reaching for the stray locks of hair. “It’s hard,” she murmured softly, lifting her gaze to meet my brother’s, who towered over her.
“I know,” he replied quietly with a small smile. When she glanced aside, his fingers fisted. Rage briefly shadowed his features, as if he wanted to slay whatever haunted her. Whatever had happened to her was between them. He knew, but he’d never shared her secret.
Technically, Penn was off duty and could do whatever she felt like. She didn’t need to be in the library helping my siblings. However, since she’d joined our hidden world, she was part ofour family whether she wanted it or not, purely because of my older brother Kenton.
Guilt.
We all carried it in some way.
And he carried it in spades.
And a deep longing for the mortal who could break him with one cruel word. Not that I thought Penn had it in her to be cruel, certainly not on purpose. She was just as guarded as Kenton, but differently. Guarded as if she weren’t good enough for him, good enough for anyone. While they were comfortable in each other’s orbit, at the same time they weren’t. Both of them performed a silent dance, moving around one another, watching while the other didn’t. It was fascinating to watch.
Just as fascinating as it had been all those years ago when they’d met for the very first time as young children.
Deep in a wild forest, far away from our family estate, my father had taken me and my older brother hunting. Kenton had been eight, and I’d not yet turned six. We raced through the forest, clad in child-sized armor and strapped with small blades, tracking the faint trail of a tjolk, until my brother saw a young girl collecting firewood amongst the tangle of trees. He’d stopped to observe her, hidden within the gloomy understory.
Even stranger, she’d detected his presence.
Which was something no one should have been able to do. Not easily at least. My family was very good at concealing ourselves when we wished not to be found.
I’d hung back in the murky shadows, watching the curiosity burning in both their gazes as she approached, stretching out a finger to touch him as if to convince herself he was real…
…before my father’s call for us had broken the moment.
Unknown to everyone, as a young child my brother had found a friend.
And then, to my shock, years later as a teenager, I saw her again when Kenton carried her blood-soaked and seemingly lifeless body up into our cargo plane when we’d been out of state on a mission.
Kenton loved her.
And I knew Penn loved him.
But soon after the rather unusual circumstances that brought her into our family,somethingorsomeonehad come between them.
The sound of a chair creaking brought me out of long-ago memories.
Kenton had brought in a tray of food he’d sourced from the kitchen and a bottle of whiskey with crystal tumblers. Caidan reached over, plucking the whiskey from the middle of the table, pouring it in a stream of amber into his tumbler. He raked a hand through his hair and quietly loosened a weary sigh before he swallowed down a large mouthful. His phone beside him was lit up with a gazillion messages.
I tapped the blunt over the ashtray, watching the fine flakes of ash scatter upon the dish. It reminded me of the catacombs beneath Ascendria when I’d carried Sage’s limp body back into the cavern, my heart in my throat, wondering if my little bird was alive or not. Ash had drifted like snow, as if winter had reached the bowels of the earth after Nelle had burned through those creepy motherfuckers out to capture her.
Jett had his feet braced on the edge of the tabletop, pushing back so his chair stood on two legs. He tossed his dagger up and down, catching it by the hilt and tossing it up again. He seemed bored, but he was also quietly simmering with the usual Jett-pissed-off anger. Whatever the fuck it might be this time.
Probably me.
A sheen of sweat glistened across his forehead, and as his dagger flew upward, light struck off its thin blade, and he shotme a challenging look. I was used to his bullshit, but keeping up the bored and indifferent act around my family was wearing on me. The only time I had any kind of respite these days was up in the tower with Nelle.
I had to make sure my brothers would not doubt my familial loyalty, nor suspect what I was up to. They were watching me as closely as I watched him.
The memory of Jett threatening Sage had me flexing the book I had open on my lap wider, and my fingers tightened around its cover as I recalled his features twisting in fury as he tried to intimidate Nelle in our Great Hall.
Perfect for what I needed to do.
The spine of the book cracked.
