“Tell me about it.”
“What?”
“The time loop.” Ziya curled closer to Amie, as if settling in for a story. “You said you wanted to tell me about it. I’m ready.”
So Amie did. She told her about how long it took her to accept that she was in a time loop. How she first told David about it. All the grocery store trips and the friend dates. How she’d stopped counting the days after two years.
“Two years,” Ziya said softly. “And I thought three months felt like forever. How did you stay … I mean,didyou stay—?”
“Sane?”
“I was gonna say ‘optimistic.’ I just feel like I’d give up. But I can’t imagine you doing that.”
“Well, I had a couple of nihilist phases. I’d sleep a lot. Wouldn’t brush my teeth. Barely ate. Didn’t even text you to say I wouldn’t make our date.”
“For how long?”
“How long what?”
“How long did these phases last?”
“Oh, never more than a day,” Amie admitted sheepishly. “They were some of the only times I woke up relieved to still be in the loop. I’d feel terrible about not texting you. Also, my mouth would taste so bad by the end of the day, I’d have to brush my teeth just from the memory of it alone.”
“I would’ve forgiven you for not texting me, you know,” Ziya said, kissing the underside of Amie’s jaw. “I’m notthatneedy.” Her hair tickled Amie’s neck as she shook her head. “I don’t think I could’ve stayed that optimistic.”
“I thought you said you’d be incredible in a time loop,” Amie teased, tilting her chin down to look at her. “What about all those marathons you’d run?”
Ziya grinned. “Iwoulddo so many things.” Her smile slowly faded. “But I think the novelty would fade pretty quickly.” She wasquiet for a few seconds. “You kept going on our date? And just said the same things every time?”
“It was a good date,” Amie said. “I didn’t want to risk ruining it.”
“But didn’t it get boring?”
“I was with you,” Amie said simply. “I couldn’t be bored with you.”
Ziya’s gaze had wandered off to a spot past Amie’s head, and Amie suddenly had the feeling that she’d gone somewhere far away. Desperate to bring her back, she said, “I think I might be thirty.”
Ziya’s eyes flicked back to her, a smile tugging at her lips. “You’re not thirty.”
“I think I might be. I was twenty-eight when the time loop started. I spent over two years in there. That makes me thirty.”
“The time loop doesn’t count. It’s the same day on repeat. Time is basically frozen.”
“But it wasn’t for me! My brain was still taking in information, even if my body wasn’t changing. I was still living for those two years.”
“Were you?”
“What?”
Ziya’s eyes had taken on that faraway look again, though they remained on Amie’s face. “Were you living in the time loop? Did that really feel like you were living?”
“I … yeah. Of course. I was alive. I was breathing.”
“But were youliving?”
Amie felt frustration creeping over her. “My heart was beating, so by definition, yes, I was living the whole time.”
“You know what I mean.”
