He tried to sound nonchalant, but the idea of being miles from camp without a car or any nearby shelter rang an alarm bell in his head.
The wolf comes at night. Maybe…but the sun was still up when it chased us at Kinkaid.
“We need data. We are in an anomalous situation that, based on the proximity of the recent deaths, seems to be tied to this area specifically. So, we are checking in on another recent place-bound oddity of this region.”
“And what’s that?”
“It will be easier to explain once we arrive.”
They started off from Valentina’s camp, heading toward Dancer’s office. The sun was still a misty yellow ball hovering close to the eastern horizon and dew sparkled on the weedy margins of Moss Man’s Row. They passed Green’s campsite and, peering down the path from the little parking spot, he wondered if he would ever manage to spend a full night there. A robin on a low branch above the lane puffed up its feathers against the cold and sang bright notes into the morning haze. Even with Green’s terror hangover, it felt good to be out and walking through the woods on such a morning.
They reached the moss man. The big stump was shaggy with growth and spotted with lichens. Huge bracket fungi, like tawny dinner plates embedded in the rotting wood, shadowed glimmering crescents of frost from the wan sunlight. Green surprised himself by nodding a greeting to the citadel of vibrant decay.
“Now that you’ve recovered,” Valentina said, “you will kindly get that vehicle away from my home when we return.”
“I can do that, but I wouldn’t say I’ve recovered. I can’t get that wolf out of my mind. Or the face of that dead woman.”
Valentina glanced at her apprentice, but didn’t slow.
“Only natural. Fear and sadness accompany tragedy.”
“I’m getting very tired of being afraid. I don’t suppose Blobert has a cousin I could meet.”
She reached out and trailed her fingertips along the papery skin of a yellow birch as they passed. Green noticed she often touched the landscape while she walked.
“I’m afraid not. And dulling fear is a remedy that is sometimes worse than the disease. But fear is part of the reason we are on the move today.”
“What do you mean?”
They turned from the gravel and continued on a narrow footpath trailing down the slope south of Candle-Fly. The leaves felt slick and soft underfoot.
“Fear has two fangs. The first is a pervasive sense of helplessness. The second is the enormity of the unknown. Today, we aim to armor ourselves against both. We are not helpless. We are not hiding in our shelters. We are actively seeking information to improve our position. The unknown does not root us where we stand. We are rejecting both helplessness and the premise of unknowability.”
Her words didn’t untie all of the knots in Green’s chest, but they loosened a few. He absolutely had the impulse to hide, to do nothing, so moving forward was a kind of victory.
The sun climbed as they walked, the sky brightening to an autumnblue of faded cornflowers. The mountain woods were alive with the motion of falling leaves and the wind carried the earthy scent of plant matter returning to the soil. Green drank deeply of the mountains. He drank instinctually and felt a thirst he couldn’t name quietly subsiding.
For a moment, he set aside all thoughts of phantom deer and maddening acorns. He was simply a man on a walk in a beautiful place.
“ ‘The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness.’ John Muir said that.”
“He did,” Valentina said. “He also said, ‘Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world.’ That is likely the more appropriate quotation for today’s work.”
That comment pulled Green out of his idyllic musings. He didn’t like the idea of mysterious doorways. Doorways let things in.
“Muir was a compelling writer,” Valentina continued. “Of course, he also held many reprehensible beliefs and worked to erase indigenous histories. Yet he could turn an evocative phrase and he helped some Americans feel a new kind of connection with nature.”
Green stared at the back of Valentina’s head as she walked. He had spent a decade cultivating the skill of office talk, cheerful conversation about nothing. Valentina was a very different sort of animal. He quickened his pace to keep up with her.
“Hey, Teacher, the scope of your knowledge is borderline ridiculous.”
Valentina sniffed.
“I travel widely. I read widely. I work to maintain active curiosity and humility in the face of new information. I don’t let my vanity insist that I cannot be improved upon. It is not a comfortable worldview, but it is worthwhile. It keeps me young.”
“Are you going to explain that two pines quote or am I still waiting for mealtime?”
“Patience. As I said, better to see it first.”
