We don’t always know when our plans are potentially deadly.
“Hell, if it comes to going inside, I could go,” Clara said. “I have fewer years to sacrifice, after all. I am getting awfully tired of endless doctor visits and feeling mule kicked every time the weather changes.”
“And you suspect an unknowable void outside reality will be a more comfortable place to spend your remaining time? Ridiculous,” Valentina said. “The value of a life is not measured in potential longevity. Also, if you will recall, I taught both of your sons and I won’t be telling the twins that I used their mother’s life to plug up a cosmic rathole.”
Clara snorted a laugh.
“Hear that, Green? Valentina doesn’t need to curse because you can hear the implied curses whenever she wants you to. It’s an art form.”
“Yes, well, Ms. Rodriguez.” Valentina emphasized the formality. “Thank you so much for lending us your expertise.”
Clara clapped her bent brown hands together.
“There it is again! Hear it?”
“I can,” Green said. “And thank you for the journal. It…has been more than helpful.”
“Aw. You’re welcome. Don’t you forget to do the same for up-and-comers when you get on your feet. Record it all. Herkimer got that part right at least. It’s lonely, isn’t it? Being one of us strange animals. Gotta let each other know that there are kindred spirits out there.”
Green smiled.
“Goodbye, Clara,” Valentina said. “We’ll be in touch.”
Clara winked again and the screen went dark.
Valentina lifted a trembling hand and closed the laptop. Green wondered if the effects of the spore-log were holding on longer for his teacher.
“I didn’t think we had internet access here,” he said.
“We don’t.”
“Ah…Right.”
Valentina stared past Green, her expression grim and distant.
“Seriously, you aren’t actually considering stepping through that hole, are you?”
Of course she is.
“As I said, it may well come to that. Such an act may be survivable. Human choice is a powerful force. I am rather willful and may fare better than a stone or scrap of firewood.”
“We’ll find a solution. We have an ally in Catskill now. That could change things.”
“It could, but observe.”
Valentina pointed to her lips and blew out a long breath.
Green saw pale condensation even in the warm room.
“I am afraid the fawn did to me what it failed to do to you.”
Fear slid a knife between Green’s ribs.
His teacher’s trembling and her tired eyes were not the work of the spore-log. He studied her face more closely. There was a slight blue tinge to her lips that made him think of a visit to Mr. Reynard’s hospice room.
“The cold has taken root in me and, like the birds we collected, it is not subsiding. I believe it is intensifying. I am struggling to form a rationale for how I am still alive. It’s interesting.”
“That’s…terrible. Does Clara know?”
