Good morning, Princess. Looking forward to your big night tonight!
His thoughtfulness puts a smile on my face. It feels good to have his encouragement and to know that he truly is interested in my career.
Since tonight is a special night at the arena, Desirae helped me choose an appropriate outfit for the occasion. I’m wearing a long-sleeved black knit dress with a gold pashmina wrap for extra warmth and black leather boots with a slight heel. Warm, functional, and professional. I’m also treating my hair to a blowout and touching up my face with a little bit of glam makeup, which I typically only do on special occasions.
I look out at the crowd assembled for my presentation, searching for Jax. Press, dignitaries, art critics, West Palm society, and arena management are gathered around. I finally see him standing on the sidelines, outside of the spotlight, offering silent encouragement. Hopefully my nervousness isn’t showing as I explain the work process and the design to the visitors. I pause for questions, looking again over at Jax, who gives me a subtle wink of encouragement. It’s enough to bolster my confidence, which is a good thing, because a news reporter poses a question, not about my work, but about my relationship with Jax.
Just as I helped Jax in the past to deflect intrusive questions, I don’t confirm or deny anything personal.
“Tonight’s about demonstrating the beauty of ice as art. I’m happy to answer any questions you have about that or my work.”
Later, after the visitors, the cameras, and the press all depart, I’m left standing alone in the lobby near the display with Jax.
“You did great tonight. I’m so proud of you.” He gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
My heart is so full from the evening’s event, I can’t possibly imagine what else could be coming. “What is it?”
He extends an arm. “Right this way.”
Jax escorts me to the team area and through the tunnel, then out to the ice where the Fanboni is idling. He stands before me and takes a bow. “Your chariot awaits, my princess.”
I gasp in delight. “Oh my gosh! I’ve been wanting to ride this ever since I saw it at the first game!”
Whoever had the idea to rename the Zamboni ice resurfacing vehicle the Fanboni, and allow hockey fans to ride it around the rink while it repairs the ice between playing periods, is a freaking genius. It’s the most sought after fan experience in all of hockey.
Jax nods to Charlie, the driver, and offers a hand to help me up onto the vehicle. I take a seat in the rear as Jax boards and hands me a gorgeous bouquet of roses that he apparently stashed on board earlier. He sits down and puts an arm around me, then covers us with a blanket to offer a little more warmth in the chilly environment. It actually feels much colder out here now with the solitude of the ice and the lights off than it does when the arena is full of people with body heat and bright lights. The quiet hum of the vehicle purrs like a kitten as we begin our slow procession around the rink. I curl in to Jax’s side, taking in the comfort and solitude.
“Are you happy, Elise?”
In this moment, I truly am. Coming off of a stellar career event, and celebrating quietly with a man who’s proven to be patient, supportive, and thoughtful. “Yes. Thank you for doing this.”
“Thank you. For being supportive of me. For listening when I need someone to talk to. And for being yourself. I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re unique. Talented. Beautiful. And amazing. I know I’m not the greatest with words, but I know what I feel. And what I am feeling for you is…love. I love you, Elise.”
Say what?Did I really hearthosewords? It’s as if everything comes to a screeching halt, even though the Fanboni is still smoothly circling the rink. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or pinch myself to see if I’m dreaming. This wonderful man just said the words that any woman in her right mind would love to hear. But is it too good to be true? Am I living in a fantasy world where a man might give up his career for mine? Can we figure out how to balance competing priorities and actually have a chance at a relationship, rather than one of us having to give up our dreams? My head is spinning, and I feel his body tense when I don’t immediately respond.
My head is a jumble of thoughts, and before I can compose them into a coherent reply, I blurt out something that I haven’t yet had the courage to tell him.
“I need to be in Ottawa in four weeks. Most likely right in the middle of playoffs.”
CHAPTER 11
Jax - Strategy
Ilove you.I’ve never said those words to anyone before tonight. When Elise didn’t respond in kind, or say anything about howshefeels, it scared the hell out of me. But I can’t take those words back. I won’t take them back. It’s how I feel about her. Now I’ve got a lot more to figure out. How to possibly live without hockey, and how to possibly live without the woman who has succeeded in thawing my frozen heart. Based on what shedidsay, it’s clear that she’s completely focused on her career and won’t sacrifice it for the sake of someone else ever again. And she shouldn’t. I could never ask that of her. But it still sucks balls. I’ve never been one to believe in fate, but this time I may just have to stop trying to control the situation and leave it in fate’s hands.
My rehab is progressing ahead of schedule, giving me the hope that I can somehow convince management to let me return to the team for the playoff rounds, if we keep winning. I’ve always been a risk taker, and I’m willing to risk another injury ifI can get back into the game. At least for the rest of the season. And I’m not averse to hard work; I’m willing to do whatever it takes.
When I asked for a meeting with the team doctor and the coach to feel them out about playing again, I didn’t get any clarity. The team doctor essentially said I’d lost my mind and perhaps taken too many hits to the head to even be contemplating such a move. Coach remained pretty quiet, which suggests to me that he would like to see me return, but can’t legally or morally say that out loud.
Caught between my competitive drive and long-term health concerns, I need to make some difficult decisions. For the last few weeks, Elise has been a great listener and the voice of reason regarding my worries about the future. I trust her completely and value her perspective regardless of what’s going on between the two of us.
We’ve been texting this morning, and when I suggested dinner so that I could seek her advice, she suggested instead that we meet at a gym centrally located between Palm Beach and Pelican Point.
Jax: You want to meet at a gym to talk?
Elise: Do you trust me?
Jax: You know I do.
