As the trainer fixes me up with a sling to immobilize my shoulder, my life flashes before my eyes.What the hell will I do now?I’ve got no plan, no idea what the future looks like. I thought I had more time to figure it all out.
Unwilling to go home and sulk in my condo, I wander the halls of the arena, seeking refuge. Seeking Elise. I find her at the tunnel, working on the tree of life. She looks at me and I see safety and compassion there. Not pity. Empathy. Without a word, she hands me a string of lights and demonstrates how to thread it through the pathways she’s made through the ice block. Just like she did before when I needed a distraction. It’s repetitive and calming, and something I can do with one arm.
She pauses for a break about twenty minutes later. “If you want to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”
Exhausted and emotionally spent, the words don’t come. Instead, a moment of raw need for connection fills me. With my good hand, I take hers and give it a gentle tug, pulling off her work glove and tossing it aside so I can feel the softness of her hand in mine. She looks up at me with those beautiful eyes and I slowly lower my mouth to hers. Despite the ice chill in the arena, her lips are warm and welcoming. She opens her mouth slightly, gently welcoming me inside. She tastes like cinnamon and spice, a welcome respite on a chilly day.
A moan escapes her mouth, shocking me back to reality like a sudden blast of cold air.What the hell am I doing?She deserves better than me groping her in the arena where anyone could see. She’s been a good friend and I don’t want to screw that up. I pull away, but can’t miss the confusion in her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have?—”
I back up and turn, rushing away like my hair’s on fire. I can’t bear to look back at her, knowing she’s seen me at my most vulnerable moment. All the words I should have said to her crash through my brain. But it’s too late now. All I can do is take the moment of that brief connection and tuck it away in my memory.
CHAPTER 8
Elise – Defensive Play
When Jax kissed me under the ice arches, it took my breath away. It was unexpected, but felt so right. Shay’s warning about getting involved with an athlete disappeared from my brain as the feeling of being swept away in the moment took over. When he stopped abruptly and stepped back, then fled after a mumbled apology, it hurt. Coupled with the online speculation about us that’s still going viral, the confused and empty feeling in my belly is even more pronounced. I haven’t seen or heard from Jax in almost two weeks, and the news media is reporting he’s likely out for the season, which means I don’t expect to see him at the arena anytime soon.
Despite my turmoil and the intensity of that kiss, I miss our conversations. Unlike other men in my past, he doesn’t judge, and actually listens to me. And I feel like I provided the same to him. The longer the silence between us stretches out, the more difficult it’s going to be to regain that connection. I want himto know that regardless of what either of us is going through, I value our friendship. But how do I tell him that?
Since I can’t get him and the kiss out of my mind, I put all of that restless energy into creating something for him. Despite his public persona as a formidable presence on and off the ice, he’s really just a big teddy bear. And the teddy bear toss was a fun moment for us. So I carve him a miniature teddy bear as a gift, and infuse some live moss into it, something that will continue to grow as he recovers from his injury and plans for his future.
I’m on my way to West Palm to drop off the gift to Jax and get some work done, when my phone rings. I punch the button on the screen in my car to take the call from Shay. As soon as she speaks, I can hear the excitement in her voice.
“Girl! The package from Ottawa came! I couldn’t help but open it. You’re a finalist! Looks like you need to start prepping for a trip to Canada!”
The butterflies in my stomach suddenly come alive. This is the moment I’ve been working toward for so long. The opportunity of a lifetime. I’m more motivated than ever to get everything finished at the arena in record time so I can add the pieces to my audition portfolio.
I’m still giddy with excitement when I get to the arena and make my way to the workout room where Jax is undergoing physical therapy. It looks like he just finished the session as he’s mopping his forehead with a towel and talking with the trainer. I can’t help but notice that rehab version of Jax is as hot as hockey Captain version of Jax.Friends, Elise. Remember, you’re here because he’s a friend.
He sees me through the glass windows of the exercise room and waves before walking toward me.
“Hey. How’s your rehab going?”
“It’s going. Taking it one day at a time, but the trainer says I’m making good progress.”
“That’s great news. I brought you something. AGet Done with Rehab Soongift.” I hold up a small cooler. “Corny phrase, I know. ButGet Well Soondoesn’t really fit.”
He takes the cooler, pops open the lid, and looks inside.
His broad grin wipes out the awkwardness I’ve been feeling.
“A teddy bear. I like it. Thank you.”
“As long as you keep it cool, the greenery should keep growing.”
He chuckles. “I’ve never been very good with plants. I may need you to help me keep it alive.”
“What are friends for?” And that truly is why I’m here. I don’t plan to mention the kiss, or put any pressure on Jax to define things or share his feelings. I want him to focus on healing and if I can help in any way to facilitate that, then it’s all good.
“Well, friend, you seem to be pretty happy about something. Care to share anything?”
“Now that you mention it, I got some really good news on the way here.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“I heard from a fellowship I’ve applied for in Ottawa. I made the short list and have been invited to interview.”
