I nodded. His mom had been one of the last ones to die.
Sam shifted in his chair. “It came from Earth. Anyway, I gotta tell you something. I’m actually the one who broke it. I broke it the night before, and I glued it together, and I did, like, a really shitty job. It was only a matter of time before my grandma noticed it. It fell apart when you ran by, not because you actually hit it. I let you take the blame for it. I’m sorry.”
I laughed. “Holy shit. You asshole! Do you know how bad I felt? I couldn’t look your grandmother in the eye for years after that.”
He held out his hands. “That’s it. That’s all I got as far as confessions go. Well, that and I always wanted to bang your sister—until, you know, me and Harriet happened. Actually, that’s a lie. I still want to bang your sister. Everybody does, and it’s not just because everyone knows she gets naked on the net. I think it’s because she’s so mean. Is that weird?”
I sobered. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I should’ve told you a long time ago.” He paused. “And because I think we’re going to die, Oliver. All of us.”
Chapter 6
“Hello, Oliver. Hello, Oliver friend number three,” Roger said to me and Sam as the two bots reached the main gate. Roger sat perched upon the back of 418, but he hovered up into the air the moment they passed the main entrance. Priscilla the recovered scout robot continued walking, ignoring us, as it—she—headed toward the barn for repairs. Roger zipped over and alighted upon the back of Melissa, who sat in a hunched position, hidden by the weeds just outside of the gate. He perched on the larger bot for about ten seconds before drifting back up and coming to hover before me.
“We must utilize the perimeter-defense protocols,” Roger said. “I have summoned your sister. We will proceed to the control center for a special Saturday lesson.”
“How’s Priscilla?” I asked.
“She has an emergency stealth mode that malfunctioned when she attempted to activate it, causing the power loss. She needs a new capacitor unit, but we do not have one here at the ranch. We must proceed to the civil defense warehouse in Burnt Ends to get supplies to repair her and to bolster our defense.”
“What?” I asked. “Civil defense warehouse? What is that?”
“It is exactly what it sounds like, Oliver. We can discuss it further during the lesson.”
“Wait,” Sam said. He was still looking back toward the beehive, which Priscilla had just entered. “Who the hell is Priscilla? Is it one of the honeybees?”
“Oliver friend number three, do you have permission from your guardian to be here today?”
Sam sighed. This was something Roger asked Sam every time he set foot on our property. Sam was twenty-five years old. His grandparents on both sides were dead. He had sold his family’s ranch and lived with Harriet and both sets of her grandparents, working their farm instead. He didn’t have a “guardian.”
“Yes, Roger,” Sam said.
“Do you wish to, and do you have permission to, attend today’s lesson?”
This part was new. Sam looked at me uncertainly. I shrugged.
“Sure?”
Zap.
“Ow! What the fuck!” Sam called. “Ow! Shit! Ow! Fuck, Roger, stop stinging me!”
He fell on his ass as I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it.
“Rule number four, Oliver friend number three,” the robot said. “No swearing.”
“I thought you said all the rules are suspended during perimeter defense,” I said, still wheezing. Mr.Yanez walked by, glaring.
Roger clicked. “They are, but classroom rules still apply during lessons.”
“What? That doesn’t make sense,” I said.
“Dude, that really hurt. It’s not funny,” Sam said, rubbing his arm while sitting in the dirt. “And I didn’t swear. When did I swear?”
Static crackled as Roger played back a censored version of what Sam had said: “Who the is Priscilla? Is it one of the honeybees?”
Sam just looked up at Roger. He grumbled something under his breath. It wasn’t the first time Roger had corrected Sam, but it had probably been twelve-plus years ago during a sleepover.
