It was a dream.
A fantasy.
Everything I never allowed myself to believe I could have.
And then it was gone.
So yeah, tonight I wanted to hurt Brooks Saxton, wanted him to hurt as much as I had these last years, to suffer as I had…
Andthatwas what had me hurting him.
Not fear for myself. Not an attempt at escape.
Rage. Revenge. Venom.
Bile crawls up my throat again and it’s not just the guilt I feel for my actions.
It’s the look on my face as I stare at my reflection in the mirror, the anger and the frost-filled eyes and the expression that should have belonged to my grandfather looking back at me.
I promised myself.
Fuckingpromisedfrom the moment I got out that I would be better than him, that my past wouldn’t make me the person I am today.
Yet here I am, reacting with violence, cold determination settling over my bones like a familiar blanket as I shove down any bit of lingering guilt.
I hoped for better, wished for more.
And what did that get me?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
My phone buzzes and I exhale, steadying myself before I pick it up and glance at the screen.
Another job.
This time, thankfully, one that has nothing to do with my past.
I type out my reply, tell them to send me the specifics.
Then I turn the shower to scorching…
And I scrub myself under the steaming hot stream until my entire body is as pink and painful as my hand.
FIVE
BROOKS
“What the fuck happened to you?”Jace mutters as he drops down into the chair next to mine.
“Dropped my phone on my face when I was doomscrolling on the couch,” I say, repeating the lie I’ve uttered on repeat since I woke up on the floor of my study, the only evidence of the woman who left me barely conscious, the black knit cap still clutched in my hand.
Well that, and the missing flash drive.
Anda raging headache that still pounds at my temples.
But when I came to, the window was closed and my security hadn’t noted anything unusual—something I’m sure my lie to them didn’t help with.
