Or maybe it’s that I’m more worried about the woman in my arms.
“I won’t bring it up again, I promise,” she says.
“It’s going to take time for you to trust in me, in us,” I remind her. “I get that. But seriously, baby, you don’t need to apologize.”
She shakes her head, clearly not agreeing with me. “You’re right, you know. I never stopped loving you.”
“Briar.”
“And I know that we can’t go back,” she murmurs as I draw her close, inhaling the scent of her, feeling the softness of her body. “But I want to move forward together.” She nibbles at her bottom lip. “That is…if you still want that.”
My heart leaps.
Then immediately sinks.
“Why would you think I don’t want that?”
“I—” Her cheeks go pink. “Well, I mean, you haven’t exactly?—”
“I haven’t…what?”
“You haven’t tried to…” Those cheeks go even pinker. “You know…”
“No”—I draw her closer—“Idon’tknow.”
That makes her scowl and swat me lightly on her chest. “Don’t tease.”
“I like teasing you,” I murmur, skating my hand down her spine. “And I think you like it when I tease you too.”
Her hands come back to my face and she cups my cheeks again, stares deeply into my eyes.
“What?” I ask.
“Tell me,” she orders.
I almost ask her what it is she wants me to say. But, deep down, I know. “I was trying to give you space.”
She smiles softly. “Pascal?”
“Yes.” I sigh. “And no.”
“You did need space, baby. And a place to be safe, plus time to not be strictly in survival mode. But I wasn’t going to leave you alone while that happened.”
Her eyes are damp as she whispers, “I know.”
“AndIknow that a couple of therapy appointments, some time with good people, and consistent meals can’t fix everything.”
“Don’t forget the kittens,” she adds lightly.
“Who’s the one teasing now?” I draw my finger down her nose, tap lightly. “Iwaspushing. Pascal wasn’t right about me leaving, but he was right about that. So, I figured I could give you space to settle and still be here. Though…” I think of the smirk on my friend’s face, the wink he gave me before he left.
“What?”
“I wonder if he knew it would make me double down so I didn’t act like an idiot while we were figuring this shit out.”
She pauses, considers that. Then her lips curve. “I wouldn’t put it past him. He seems to consider all the angles while the rest of us are just struggling to keep up.”
I don’t disagree with her. But?—
