I clear my throat and set my brow, sobering a bit. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen you use your power to keep someone quiet.”
His gaze goes distant. “Hearing them serves as a reminder.”
“A reminder of what?”
“Of everything I’ve done.”
Now I’m the one who’s silent. He sounds like a man full of remorse. Is that what Atlanta was telling Ozias the other night? The thing that could connect me deeper to Zhoric, that could overpower my hate? The potential that he possibly regrets the thing he’s done is painful, but what’s worse, he’s done nothing at all to alter the course. Hecontinues to brand our girl children and steal their ability to shift. He takes our boys to the skies and keeps ailing mothers at a distance. He can regret all he wants, but if he isn’t doing anything to change any of it, the remorse, the regret, it doesn’t matter at all.
“That has to be the most vile thing you could have said,” I hiss at him while getting to my feet.
I walk away and put my face in my hands. I don’t know what to think or make of this. Ozias has tasked me with bonding to this man to take his power. A task that, once I’m strong enough as a draconem, I should be able to force upon him. All I want to do now is end his existence, end all that he began. I wish now that Zhoric had said nothing to me at all. I barely register my thoughts used his proper name when he speaks again.
“Does it disturb you that I may still have my humanity after all I’ve done?”
I spin on my heel, eyes wide with rage. “What disturbs me is you seem to know you’ve done wrong and yet you do nothing to change it.”
“Exactly. My humanity is intact, and yet things will not change. It will stay this way, on and on forever. Because of what I’ve done.”
I study his features. After years of being Ninon’s friend, I can see when someone’s face is saying more than their words. And there’s a great number of things he’s not saying. His expression is veiled in a cool mask of apathy, but below, I see sorrow. I see…desire. “Irredeemable.”
“Pardon?”
“You want to be irredeemable.”
A fire flickers in his gaze, a spark. A challenge. “You know nothing of what I want.”
“A person who regrets and chooses to do nothing? You’re living in a place where redemption cannot exist.”
“And if I’ve tried and failed? If I’ve made every move I could and still nothing changes? If I make a move and something worse happens?”
The thrum of my blood through my veins feels so real in this moment, if I cut myself, I would bet everything Ihave that I would bleed. “Have you?”
Zhoric gives me a look you’d give to a child who thinks they’ve finally figured everything out, when you know they have a long way to go before they understand the truth of the world. “Do not look for something that isn’t there. I’ve done nothing but allow what I’ve created to grow beyond me.”
I stand straighter and lift my chin. “I’m not so naïve. I understand your life led you to the choices you made. I know that now more than ever after what I’ve done. There’s always something more.”
“Your empathy will get you taken advantage of. Or killed,” he warns.
“I’d rather bleed with my heart on my sleeve than live a lonely life like this.”
His shoulders tense. “You sound like Thrace,” he murmurs under his breath.
My throat constricts at the sound of his name. My sister. Gods above, am I putting my sister in danger by speaking to him this way? “Please.” The word comes out like a whisper.
Zhoric’s eyes narrow. “What do you have to beg for?”
“My sister. Please don’t…please don’t harm her because of me.”
His chest rises as he inhales deeply and he pins his mouth closed. His hand forms a fist. “No harm will come to your sister.”
I don’t know how I can believe him.
“It’s time you leave.”
“Ican’t,” I grind out.
His eyes hold mine, the depth of them speaking of a hurt I cannot begin to understand. “Then allow me to help you.” With a flick of his wrist, I’m hurtling back through space, the stars streaks of light above me before I slam back into myself.
