Food. They leave to feed their people. And Dyeus has a hoard waiting at the walls, not to protect us as they’ve claimed, but to stop the rogues and take them to use as collectors. Dread coils around my spine, uncomfortable and threatening. I want to scream at myself for all the lies I’ve believed all my life.
“So, going out to sea, that’s something you and Ozias do?” Ninon asks, unaware of my inner turmoil. She must have learned some this information already.
“Probably one of our more important tasks, yes.”
Desperation to repair the damage I’ve done grips me by the throat. “Is there anything we can do to help?”
Atlanta shakes head, her curls lively with the action. “You’ll both have plenty to do once you’ve settled into your forms.”
“I’d like to see how fishing is done,” I say. I enjoy the process of hunting, and I’ve always wondered about fishing, too.
“I’m sure Ozias would take you if you asked,” Atlanta says.
I huff out a breath. “Why would he?”
“I think he’d do just about anything you asked,” she says candidly, her flat intonation giving nothing away, which feels a bit like she’s trying to hide something.
“That seems rather reckless.”
Atlanta lowers her head to catch my eye. “Your unique position has given us a new opportunity. You are going to do us a great service, Kaisa. You deserve to know the answers to any question you have, even if it’s as simple as how we fish.” She finishes with a smile that melts away the lingering strangeness I sensed from her. “I hope you’ll give our people the opportunity to see anything they wish to see for themselves one day.”
“Right. No pressure, though,” I say flippantly, as if the fate of hundreds of people isn’t sitting upon my shoulders.
Atlanta tucks her curls behind her shoulders and scrunches her brows, shaking her head. “No, no pressure.”
“What’s this about?” Ninon asks, gaze flitting between the two of us.
“I can explain, as long as you’re comfortable with that, Kaisa?”
For a moment, I think of Ninon withholding her information about the Realm and wonder what it would feel like to keep something from her. The fleeting thought tells me I’m still hurt and I brush aside the feral thought. “Ninon can know anything about me,” I say.
“We do plan to keep this information to only a few of us. It’s too early yet to know if it will work, or if it’s even possible, and false hope can incite discontent.”
“Ninon can keep a secret,” I assure, and though I didn’t mean for it to sound criticizing, Ninoncasts her gaze down to the ground. I take a steadying breath and soften my words. “I trust her with my life. Always. She won’t say anything.”
I half listen as Atlanta tells Ninon about my potential to bond with the Sar Dyeus, though she, like Ozias, calls him by his true name. I sense more than see Ninon try to catch my eye as Atlanta tells her more about my strength, and the elahi that they suspect I have. Dusk is settling swiftly, and people move more quickly, finishing up the washing, turning to their dwellings or the Alcazar, others heading to the open field where we watched the children shift.
While I don’t mind Atlanta telling Ninon about what they hope I can accomplish, I still haven’t had much time to think on it myself. It’s almost easier to pretend that this is something temporary; not my reality. Akin to how I felt whenever I visited Dyeus. If I fail in the task Ozias has asked of me, or worse, if I can’t even begin it, my hands are proverbially tied to the fate of living here as this creature, contained and restricted, and Ninon may not live to experience much of this new life at all. The very idea tightens my chest.
“So it’s true not everyone will shift at nightfall?” I ask once she’s finished explaining to Ninon, attempting to distract my mind from the tension in my body.
Atlanta shakes her head. “Some will. The fact remains we don’t have a lot of space for us all to transform comfortably at once. We often take turns shifting and spreading our wings. But Ozias and I, and others who’ve been able to master shifting at will during the daylight hours typically leave the night for those who cannot.”
“What stops so many from being able to shift at will during the day?” Ninon asks. Her twilight blue eyes meet my darker ones. I wonder if Ninon suspects the same answer I do.
“Those who have an elahi eventually learn to shift at will. Something about having a unique ability beyond our usual draconem powers makes it easier to shore up the energy it requires. And for others, like myself, it’s through sheer willpower and hard work. It took me a long time tomaster it, but…it was something I knew I had to do. For myself.”
“You must feel incredibly proud to have accomplished it,” I remark, impressed.
She hums a little in agreement, smiling to herself. “It’s been worth the effort.”
When we arrive back at the enclosures, sharp panic needles my skin at the idea of being confined again.
“I’ll go first,” I offer. Seeing Ninon restrained would ruin my resolve and I don’t want another embarrassing display of my discomfort like this morning. I try not to think of it. From my transformation last night, I know this is completely necessary.
We stop before the enclosure I woke up in this morning, empty and waiting. I go inside, and lie down willingly, noting the marks gouged into the ground beneath me. Sweat breaks out along my skin as Atlanta secures the chains across my body, so heavy, yet with ample give. Enough space that when I transform I’ll be confined, but not fully restricted. It’s as humane an enclosure for a dangerous beast could be, I suppose.
The sky is purple with the impending night by the time she has me fully secured. My panting breath flares my ribcage, pressing against my confinement.
