Her eyes move across my face, head tilting. “Where would you go?”
My limbs fall heavy at my sides. It doesn’t matter where I am, it seems. I was trapped in Nevoba. Trapped in Dyeus. And now I’m trapped here, too.
After Atlanta leaves, it’s a long while before I finally look down at myself. My dress is stiff with Alixor’s blood, the edges frayed, the once luscious silk covered in snares. Blood flakes and falls to the ground as I peel the fabric from my skin. Alixor was not the man he pretended to be. That much I know is true. Dyeus has dealings with the Realm, which I never knew, but saw with my own eyes. The Realm…the Realm is not what Dyeus claimed it was. How deep does the deceit go? And where is the truth?
Catching my gaze in the reflecting glass above the dressing table, I freeze. “My mark.”
I ghost my fingers along my sternum. The symbol has faded, the lines once dark and vivid, appear washed out. My brows cinch tight as I touch the image and feel something deep within me rumble in response. I pull my fingers away and turn, inspecting my back over my shoulder. The thought comes swift and fierce, the image of wings springing from my spine, my skin sliding into scales. My skin tingles. When I face my visage again in the mirror, my pupils dilate.
“Kaisa? Are you all right?” Atlanta calls.
I whip my head toward the door, hands trembling. “Yes,” I call out, rolling my shoulders and shaking my hands until the feeling is gone. “Yes, I’ll be out in a moment.”
Once I’m cleaned and dressed in the clothes Atlanta left for me—dark brown high-waisted trousers and a high-neck cropped shirt—I leave the room and Atlanta is right outside the door. Without a word, she lifts her hand near my face and I flinch back. Her movements slow, but she doesn’t drop her hand. “May I?”
Gaze flicking to her hand, then back to her face, I nod.As her fingers land on my cheek where Alixor struck me, a heat spreads and the throbbing pain lessens as if she were pulling it out of my skin. I blink, my mouth opening. “How?”
Savage beasts, that’s what we were told the Realm holds. Mindless, flesh-eating creatures that slip out at night to feast on us. But this…this is as if…
“Did you think you would reclaim this form and not have the powers it comes with?”
I capture her wrist in my hand, blood rushing to my ears. “The dragons of Dyeus have this power,theyhave the power. You, you shouldn’t.”
“Kaisa,” Atlanta whispers softly, a placating tone on her tongue.
I shake my head. “What you’re saying…it sounds as if…” My chest heaves, and I am choking, drowning in the words she’s yet to say.
“You know what I’m saying, Kaisa.” She lays her cool hand on my cheek. “Even if your mind can’t yet comprehend it.”
I shove her away with more force than I knew I had. She gracefully steps back, as if she allowed me to push her that far. “Stop.” I press a forefinger and thumb against my hot, stinging eyes. “No. This can’t be. They take our children; you cannot mean…” I cover my mouth to press in the sob clawing at my throat, to keep myself from uttering the words. Ridiculous, impossible words. She quiets me with a gentle shush as she wraps both my hands in hers. I want so desperately to deny it.
“I don’t expect you to believe me,” she says. “Most women who come here, like Ninon, discovered the truth—that we are dragons, as much as they are—or at least suspected it enough to try to find the answers. You and me though? We were not so fortunate in the manner in which we came here.” She holds my hands tighter, bringing them close to her chest.
Dragon. There it is. That’s the truth I couldn’t bear to hear. That she is…thatIam, a dragon. My hands shake in hers, my shoulders rattling. Something inside me stirs.Atlanta stands a little taller than me, and though I don’t tilt my head to look at her, I’m watching her face from beneath my lashes. There’s a wariness as she stares back at me, like she’s waiting for something to happen. Even though she looks my age, there’s a depth to her eyes that I’ve seen in Thrace’s gaze, in the Sar Dyeus’s, and even Ozias’s, that speaks to years lived longer. “How old are you?”
“Dragons don’t keep track of the years. But I was born shortly after Zhoric took power. The tactics to get dissidents to breed back then were not as…conniving, as they are now. Ozias saved me, when the rumors of this place were worse than they are now, and I’ve been here ever since.”
My mind flashes with images of Alixor forcing himself upon me, demanding me, attempting to take from me. Atlanta must recognize what she sees in my expression, because she’s nodding. “Ozias told me what happened to you in Dyeus.” Her fingertips flutter against my hand, like she wants to let go, but she keeps hold. “You should know that, even without the contraceptive, you wouldn’t have fallen pregnant.”
My head shakes lightly. “I don’t understand. How?”
“Your body was already set on rejecting it. It cannot happen unless you are willing for it to be so, even with part of yourself locked away.” Her gaze flits down to my mark. “The men didn’t understand the power we have over ourselves. They didn’t learn the art of manipulation and seduction until later, well after me and women like me were subjected to far different methods. Much like what Alixor attempted with you.”
Hot tears brim my eyes and burn my throat. “That’s what happened to you.”
Her jaw flexes. “It’s in the past.”
“It still happened.”
“Yes,” she says, eyes glazed with tears of her own. “It did.”
I only nod. There are no words of comfort I can offer that time has not already tried.
She presses the fingertips of one hand against myfading mark. “What has been stolen from you, you’ve taken back.” Understanding dawns, bright and hot.Theydidn’t take my ability to transform into the great and powerful creatures I’ve envied my whole life.Hedid. The Sar Dyeus stole it. From all of us. Fromme. “This mark will continue to fade as you change and discover that full potential living inside of you.” Atlanta holds my gaze. Fierce. Strong. Protective. Her hands continue to hold mine. My lungs no longer feel like they’re contracting, the muscles of my neck soften. I loose a shaky breath from my lips, the whole time keeping my eyes on hers. Then she nods and tows me along with her as we leave the hall. “There’s much more to learn, and my story is only a small part of it. Now come. Ozias is waiting to speak with you, and patience is not a virtue of his.” And without further conversation, we go up.
CHAPTER NINE
ATLANTA TAKES US up a final rise of stairs to the top of the Alcazar. It’s another wide open space, much like the room below, but with hardly any walls. It reminds me of the colonnades back in Dyeus. The openings, wide enough for a dragon to pass through, are formed by branches that drip down and weave back into the floor. A canopy of green leaves overhead casts dappled light across the floor. I pick up a yellow leaf that’s fallen to the floor and spin it in my fingers. It looks precisely like the hair stick Ninon gifted me, like the ones she used to collect. This high, I can see the clear, open sky meeting the Sere that stretches on for miles to the sea. There are no mists that shroud the view to the outside world. My eyes teem with unshed tears. What agony it must be to see this, to turn into those creatures, but not reach what lies beyond. And I realize that agony is mine, now too.
