She burst into tears and stumbled from the room; as she went, he could hear her sobbing echoing through the house, and itmade his chest tighten, his knees wobble, and his stomach churn with guilt.
Was that the right thing to do? Did I take it too far? Maybe I should go to her, tell her the truth, and let her decide what to do…
Christopher very nearly considered doing just that until he noticed the journal that was still clutched between his fingers. His hand was shaking as he opened the journal, and tears began to well in his eyes as he pulled out the single piece of parchment that Rose had found, unfurling it and looking upon the drawing for the first time in years.
Despite what had just happened, a smile reached his lips.
He could still remember the day of that drawing. He and his father visited his aunt, as they so often did. There, Christopher was quick to hurry into the orangery, his favorite place in his aunt’s home, where she asked if she might draw him and her maid… her name was Elizabeth. She was helping Christopher with some digging, and his aunt sat in the corner drawing the two of them.
Christopher had always liked Elizabeth. What was more, his aunt and his father liked her too. She wasn’t like the other maids, and she was always treated as an equal and with respect in ways that Christopher had never understood until he was told the reason why.
Of course, it wasn’t until Elizabeth passed away when he was just six that his father told himwhyhe always treated Elizabeth with such respect.
When Christopher found out the reason, his life changed forever.
He looked at the drawing, still smiling, letting the tears drip down his cheek and stain the parchment. His eyes searched his own face, then that of Elizabeth, noting the similarities between them both; features that were shared in ways that as a child he did not understand but as an adult were unmissable.
Elizabeth was more than just a maid. And she was more than his aunt’s favorite. She was his father’s lover and Christopher’s true mother.
Lord Christopher Kingswell, the Duke of Thornwall, was not a member of the peerage; he was not a class above most, and he certainly was not a lord. He was the son of a baseborn maid, and his entire life was a lie.
That was why he was always so careful. That was why he refused to have attention drawn to himself. And that was why he did not want Rose or anyone to find out the truth. If they did, his life would be torn asunder, and his world would end in ways that there was no coming back from.
Christopher was never meant to marry. He was never meant to fall in love. And he was certainly never meant to be happy. Hewas a liar, and to keep this lie safe, he had to maintain perfect control of his life in ways that did not allow for outliers like Rose.
I wish it were different. I wish I could tell her the truth. But the truth would ruin not just my life, but her life too. For her own safety… she cannot know even if she hates me for it.
From the way that she ran from this room, crying all the while, Christopher did not doubt that she hated him more than words. Worse than that, it was nothing short of what he deserved.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“Rose, are you busy?” Marianne appeared in the doorway of the office. She stood awkwardly by the open door, not sure if she should walk in or not.
“Oh…” Rose pulled her attention from the work she was doing. Not that it was tough, as she hadn’t been able to concentrate now for days, and was thus getting little work done. “I… no, Marianne, not at all.”
Marianne breathed a sigh of relief and walked into the room. “I wanted to ask, have you… If you have had a chance to speak to Father yet?”
“Not yet, Marianne. But I will.”
“When will you?” Marianne pushed. She stood on the other side of the desk, fiddling with her hands. “I know you promised that you would, and I do not wish to pressure you – I know how busy you are. But… but…”
“I said that I would, Marianne, and that is a promise. As soon as there is time –”
“But there is no time,” Marianne said desperately. “Father is already speaking of other arrangements. He is already seeking the interest of other lords. You told me that if I came home, you would help.”
“And I will help.”
“Butwhen? When will you help? I fear that if you do not say something soon, it will be too late.”
This was the last thing Rose wanted to deal with. Her thoughts were clouded. Her mind was elsewhere. And while she knew it was an awful thing to think, her sister’s woes were low on the list of things that she currently cared about.
“Today,” she said, forcing a smile because she did not want her sister to see how upset she was. “I promise, before Father leaves, I will –”
“Marianne!” Their father appeared suddenly in the doorway. “What are you doing in here?”
“Father!”
Their father stood in the room, making sure to look warningly at his youngest daughter. “I told you not to disturb your sister while she is working.”
