“That is not what this is about.”
She snorted. “So, you’re not here to chastise me further for what I did to your ledgers?”
It was subtle, but a smile touched his lips, only to be strangled immediately. “I take it you are aware that the changes you made were correct.”
She shrugged. “I know they were. But that does not excuse me for making them in the first place. For that, I apologize.”
Her apology clearly surprised the Duke, as he looked at her blankly, dumbstruck, caught completely on the back foot and unsure what to say. Again, she thought she saw… something, pass behind his eyes. An emotion she could not guess because she was not used to seeing it.
“Your apology,” he began. “Do you mean it?”
“No,” she said without hesitation. “But it’s what you came here for, isn’t it? So, take it, please. And I promise that I won’t do anything of the sort without first asking.” She offered a fake smile, hoping that would be the end of it.
She needed it to be the end of it.
Rose was starting to get sick of it all. The sneaking around. The tension whenever they were together. It would just be easier, she decided then and there, if they cut ties right now, ended things on a positive note, and did as they originally promised they would: pretend the other did not exist.
Unfortunately, the Duke was of a different mind.
“I appreciate the apology, Rose, but that is not what I am here for.”
She groaned. “What do you want? Truly, can you please give me an honest answer? I am happy to avoid you. I am happy to live a life that disturbs you as little as possible. And I thought that you were the same, are you not? Please just tell me so we can get on with our lives. It is high time that we do.”
It came on her then. Suddenly and without warning.
A coughing fit. It started in her chest and worked its way up her throat, bursting from her mouth with such horrendous force that she nearly fell back from her chair.
“Rose!” the Duke swept around the table. “Are you –”
“I am fine!” She shot a hand out to keep him back.
“You are not.”
“I am.” She cleared her throat, taking ragged breaths as her body trembled. Energy was seeping from her, the room started to turn, and her mind. She was having a hard time seeing straight. “And please, don’t pretend that you care. We are past that point by now.”
“I do care.”
She laughed. “No, you do not. From what I have seen of you, the only thing you care about is, well, yourself.” She coughed further and punched her chest. “Certainly not me.”
“Rose.” The Duke reared back, and once again, it almost looked as if her words hurt him.Surely not? He would not care one bit what I think.“I hope you know that is not true.”
“Is that right?”
He bit into his lip, and this time she could see the worry clearly. This time, for once, the Duke did not try to hide it. “That is what I came here to speak to you about. The reason I stopped you from having a drink earlier had nothing to do with…” He scoffed. “My friends, or what they might think. I was concerned for your well-being.”
“My well-being?”
“Yes.” He let his eyes roam over her, and Rose suddenly felt very exposed. “Rose, when was the last time you ate?”
She blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Or had a proper night of sleep? You look tired, Rose. Worn. Your skin is…” He grimaced. “It is pasty. And your eyes. How are you feeling right now? The truth.”
Were it anyone else saying it to her, Rose might have seen those words for what they were: concern and worry for her health. Shewould have admitted with some reluctance that she had been running herself ragged these past few days, and that she did perhaps need to slow down.
That’s how it always was with her. Whenever she was feeling stressed or unsure, she would double down on her tasks and work overtime to keep her mind busy. Often, meals were skipped. Usually, her sleep was heavily affected. And always, it ended with her getting sick.
She could feel that sickness now. She was weak. Her mind was fogged. The room turned around her. And her eyelids were heavy, drooping, despite how hard she worked to keep them open.
