“I can’t just move to Los Angeles for a girl I haven’t even told that I love her yet.”
He grinned. “So you do.”
“Fuck.” I slid a hand over my face. “Where are those beers?”
Just then, the bartender slid them across the counter.
“Thanks,” I said, nodding to him and taking a gulp, before turning back to Matthew.
He seemed to be reading my emotions better than I could. Maybe that was because I wasn’t entirely sober, since I’d gotten here before him and finished my first drink before we’d ordered. “You’ve thought it,” he said plainly.
“Of fucking course I have. Doesn’t mean it’s not insane. My whole life is here.”
“So move it there.”
My jaw dropped open. But… he had a point. Plenty of companies had fully remote computer engineer positions. If my current one wouldn’t keep me on, I might be able to leverage a higher salary by moving to a new company.
And what attachment did I have to my apartment in Portland? None.
“This is insane.”
“So, you’re going to do it?”
I nodded into my beer. “Apparently.”
“Great,” he grumbled, standing up and leaving his mostly-full beer on the counter. “I’m going to go back home to my wife.”
Home.
Was it strange that Portland didn’t really feel like homeanymore? How was it that I knew her for two years, but after two weeks she had become my home? I wanted to be by her side. I missed her warmth, her honeyed taste, the way she’d hog the covers and the popcorn bowl. The way she woke me up with her mouth one night, and I returned the favor the next by waking her up by sliding inside of her. But it was more than the sex. It was the intimacy of it all. The domestic bliss of having a partner. Someone to cook dinner for. Someone to laugh over stupid TV shows together.
After I finished my beer, leaving an extra tip on the counter, I headed back to my apartment.
It was time to figure out how I was going to tell Tessa what I already knew to be true.
That I was irretrievably, indefinably, irrevocably in love with her.
CHAPTER 11
Tessa
Sitting in my trailer, I opened my phone, eyes scanning over the messages I’d missed. I popped a piece of popcorn into my mouth, heart aching as I saw who hadn’t texted me.
When I’d gotten on a plane and left Portland two months ago, I’d been breaking my own heart.Two weeks. It had only been two weeks.
And yet, I’d known how I felt about him. Maybe it was because we’d known each other for over two years. Maybe it was something more. But I’d known there could be nothing other than going all in with this man.
But we texted. Every single day, without fail, we texted.
I didn’t know why. We hadn’t made any promises. In fact, the exact opposite. I’d been the one to push him away.
But when I’d gotten home to my quiet, empty apartment, I’d known what was missing.Oliver.
“Maybe I should get a dog,” I muttered out loud. But I knew that wasn’t it, either. I couldn’t replace how I was feeling with a pet. Even if I missed our daily walks with Snowball.
But today, not a single peep. There was no,Hey, Hollywood. No photo from something in Portland that he’d seen that reminded him of me.Nothing.
Biting my lip, I looked over our last conversation. And then my fingers drifted over the letters, typing a message before I’d even thought through the words.
