Trying to figure out what to say to the girl I wanted to beg to stay, but knew I had to let go.
CHAPTER 9
Tessa
You can talk to me, you know?” Matthew said, sitting across from me as I shoved stuff into my bags.
“Talk about what?” I asked, aware my voice was an octave higher than it should have been. God, for an actress, I wasn’t doing a very good job of pretending right now.
“Tessa.” His voice was low, like I imagined a dad’s would be. He’d make such a good dad someday, I just knew it.
I rolled my eyes. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m flying home tonight, and then it’s back to my life in LA.”
“What about him?”
Clearing my throat, I grabbed the sundress I’d worn to the brunch, remembering the way Oliver’s eyes had heated seeing me in it. It was completely impractical for October in Portland, but it had all been worth it when he fucked me on the couch wearing it.
I grimaced at the thought. He really was going to kill me if he found out how many places Oliver and I had sex in his house.
“Oliver and I are just friends,” I insisted. “He just kept me company the past two weeks. That’s all.”
Could he tell it was a lie the way I could? It tasted like ash on my tongue. Just a friend. Maybe that was what we were two weeksago, before the wedding. Before he’d given me more orgasms than I could count. Before I’d spent two weeks playing house with him.
“Noelle said that once, you know.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Huh?”
“That we were just friends.”
“And what did you do?” I asked, abandoning my packing to look at him.
He smirked. “I kissed her.”
“Huh?” I was confused.
Matthew ran his fingers through his hair, only a few shades darker blond than mine. “I asked her to tell me if I kissed her like a friend.”
“And?”
His cheeks were a little pink. “And… here we are?”
“Okay, fair enough.” I didn’t really want details of my brother’s relationship anyway. There was no part of me that needed details about his sex life. Just like there was no way I was telling him about mine. “Then… what should I do?”
“Follow your heart.”
The words were soft. Barely a whisper. “But what if my heart doesn’t know what it wants, Matthew?”
He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. “Then I guess it’s time to start listening.”
I sighed. “I don’t know if I know how anymore.” I’d kept my heart locked away tight for so many years. Maybe it had to do with my parents, losing them so young. Or the fact that I just didn’t know how to fully open up to people. I probably needed therapy.
“You can let him in, you know,” Matthew said. “You can let him in because he’s a good man who wants you to be happy.”
“I know,” I whispered as tears dripped from my eyes. I knew that—of course I knew that. “He’s the best.”
“Then why are you crying, Tess?”
I shook my head. “Because I have to leave.”
