“Uh, no. The whole waiting tables thing didn’t work out.”
“You got fired, didn’t you?” She asks.
“No!”
“Liar.” She giggles.
“Well, don’t bust my balls about it.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. So, where are you going?”
“I’m on my way home.”
“Oh, okay. Where were you?”
“No, I mean I’m on my way home. I’m headed to Lilly Leaf Falls.”
I can practically hear her jaw drop. “What’s the occasion? Is there some obscure holiday I’m unaware of? Or are you coming to tell us you joined a cult or something?”
I ignore her sarcasm. “I’m moving back for good.”
“No shit? What happened to Mario, the dickhead?” Ronnie was never a fan of my recent boyfriend.
“He’s history. It’s a long story. I’ll give you details when I get home.”
“Great. Dinner’s on me.”
Good because I’m broke.
I pull my cigarettes out of my bag to light one. The moment I do, Ronnie says, “Put that shit out right now.”
“How did you know?”
“Your metal lighter is loud.”
“Damn,” I mutter. “You have dog ears.”
She reiterates. “Put it out.”
“When did you become my mother?”
“I’m not your mother, but if you don’t knock it off, I’ll tell our mother. You know she’ll make your life hell when you get home.”
She has a point.
“Okay, okay,” I say, putting it out but knowing I’ll light it again when we hang up.
She says, “You know she’ll smell it on you if you’re staying there.”
“Well, that may have been true if I planned on staying there.”
“You don’t?”
“Nope. I love our parents, but I’m almost thirty, and I really don’t want to live with them.”
“Fair enough. Okay, I know you have no money, so you’re going to stay with one of us.”
“That’s the plan,” I say.
