“No, I am not. Jo, do you want some coffee too?”
“No thanks. I’ve already had a Red Bull.”
He nods and walks back out.
“Okay, Jo. Why are you in my bed at the ass crack of dawn?”
I blurt, “I had sex with Beau.”
She chokes on the sip of coffee she just took. “What? I thought he hated you.”
“Yeah, me too. We got into a fight at the dance. I went to the shop to see what was shoved up his ass. We fought some more.He confessed he was in love with me, and we fucked on the hood of a Thunderbird.”
Her mouth hangs open. “That sounds like something I would do.”
“I know! But now, I’m wondering if it was a huge mistake.”
Her nose crinkles. “Was it awful?”
“No, actually, it was pretty fucking incredible.”
“So, what’s the problem? He doesn’t hate you, and you got your jollies off.”
I love my sister, but sometimes, she sees things a little too black and white.
“Ronnie, Beau said he loved me, and instead of talking it out or dealing with it, I just invited him to the party between my thighs.”
“Okay, well, did you talk afterward?”
“Not exactly.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Well, we finished, and both of us kind of just stammered. I think we were in disbelief that it just happened, and we decided we would get together tonight to talk.”
“What are you going to say?”
“I don’t know! Why do you think I’m in your bed right now?”
“Okay, calm down, Miss Dramatic.”
“Ronnie, come on. I really need your help.”
After taking a large sip of coffee, she sets her mug on the bedside table. “What do youwantto say to him?”
I think for a moment. “Lots of things.”
“Do you want to be with him?”
“I’ve never thought about it.”
“Really? In all the time you spent together, you never even considered it?”
“Ronnie, we’ve already gone over this.”
She runs her fingers through her messy hair. “I know, but maybe I think you’re full of shit. Or maybe you’re just not being honest with yourself.”
“Ronnie,” I begin. “I never let myself think about Beau like that. He was the one relationship I had that wasn’t completely dysfunctional and fucked up. I was terrified to ruin that.”
