Much to my dismay, there are only two tables in the break room, and the only one with empty seating also has Beau sitting at it.
Great.
Jack and I quickly fix our plates and have a seat. I’m thankful he takes the chair directly next to Beau. The bad part about it is that we are now across from each other and basically staring at the other.
Everyone is having quiet conversations amongst themselves, and I’m shoveling my food in, trying to hurry, so I can get back to work and leave this awkwardness.
Adam is the first one to speak to me. “So, Jo, where were you living before you graced us with your presence again back in town?”
“I’ve been in California for the past few months, but before that, I bounced around quite a bit.”
I swear I hear Beau scoff, but it’s so quiet that I’m not sure if it’s just in my head, so I don’t respond.
Jamie then asks, “You got a boyfriend?”
Dylan glares at him. “Will you stop trying to date my sisters?”
Before I can reply, Beau gets up and walks out of the room. Thankfully, no one notices, or if they do, they don’t draw attention to it.
After he’s gone, I realize I haven’t answered Jamie’s question, so I say, “Uh, no. I’m not dating anyone.”
“Good to know.” He flashes his bright white smile.
Never have I considered dating Jamie. Sure, he’s cute, but he’s too pretty. I like my men to have a little edge to them.
And how’s that working out for me?
While I have no plans of dating anybody for a while, maybe I’ll keep Jamie in mind for a quick lay.
Before anyone can pepper me with any more questions, Adam spills barbeque sauce all down the front of himself, so everyone else spends the rest of lunch giving him shit about it.
When I finish eating, I decide to go outside for a smoke before getting back to work. I have a feeling I’m going to need it.
There’s nowhere to sit out in the back of the shop, so I take a seat on the ground with my back up against the wall.
I look down at the tiny filtered stick in my hands.
When I first started this awful little habit, I only did it while drinking. When the guys I was dating did it more often, so did I.
I’m still not doing it constantly. I can make a pack last about a week. I think more often than not, I do it, so I have something to occupy my hands. It helps with my anxiety–or at least that’s what I say to make myself feel better.
I lean my head against the wall and get lost in my thoughts for a moment. It’s wild to me that a week ago, I never would have dreamed that I’d be back in Lilly Leaf Falls. I’ve been thinking about coming back for a while, but I always found an excuse not to. Whether it was a new job or a guy who ended up being a colossal disappointment, I always found a reason to keep me away.
Honestly, I think the biggest part of it was knowing when I came back, I would have to deal with everything I left behind. I would’ve had to answer questions about why I left so abruptly.
And I’d have to face the people I’d left behind.
Like Beau.
Granted, I thought enough time had passed to where we could move past our issues. While I wasn’t expecting a warm welcome, I didn’t think it’d be quite so icy.
Speaking of which, the weather seems to get a lot more frigid when the back door to the shop swings open, and Beau comes walking out.
We make eye contact for a brief moment before he keeps moving.
“Sorry,” I say with a hefty dose of sass. “I’ll be done in a minute.”
“It’s fine. Just came to throw some stuff in the dumpster.” After he’s done doing what he needed to, he turns to head back inside.
