Every time she comes home, it’s only for a few days, and I am always careful to avoid her. That’s going to be far more difficult with her living here.
I have no idea how I’ll feel when I finally do see her. I’m still angry and hurt, and both of those things were easier to avoid when she wasn’t around. I’m not sure I’m ready to face those feelings.
As the day goes on, I continue to think about her, and one fact rings true in my mind.
I am not the same person I was back then. No longer am I the nerdy kid who was too scared to say what he was thinking.
And I’m sure Jo’s not the same person either.
Actually, that’s probably not true. Jo Lawson was always the same—from the moment I met her to the moment she left. She was loud, crazy, and completely unapologetic about being exactly who she was. She would kick your ass if you pissed her off, but if she cared about you, she’d go to war for you.
She was incredible, and I was crazy about her.
Then, she left, and I had to deal with the loss of my best friend and the girl I loved all at once. Since then, I’ve learned to live my life without her.
I’m not sure how that will work with her back.
Finally, my workday is over, and I can go home and try to digest all of this new information in peace. I want to do nothingbut play video games and eat junk food. Since I know my fridge is basically barren, I decide to stop at the store.
While driving there, I try to talk myself down off the ledge.
This whole Jo thing is not that big of a deal. A lot has happened in ten years. I’ve grown up, found a career I enjoy, bought a house, and gotten more attractive. That’s not me being boastful either. That’s a direct quote from women I’ve slept with.
Jo Lawson being back doesn’t change any of those things. My life will continue on exactly how it was. Whether that’s true or not remains to be seen, but it’s making me feel better right now, so I’m rolling with it.
I get to the grocery store with a little more pep in my step and quickly head inside to grab supplies. A couple people say hi as I pass by, and Mrs. Needleman stops me for a moment to ask me a question about her car.
See? It’s just another day for me. Nothing out of the ordinary.
As I’m picking out some cookies to eat with the pizza I already grabbed, a voice from the next aisle stops me cold.
“Yes, Mom. I’ll be at family dinner on time. I won’t be late. Where else do I have to be? Oh, I forgot about stopping to grab rolls. Okay, I might be late. Kidding! I’m here now. I’ll see you soon.”
Jo.
I’d know that voice anywhere.
Knowing I need to get the fuck out of here, I quickly head to the checkout and away from the spot she was just in. As I round the corner, I run head-on into someone else’s cart. I don’t need to see who it is.
That’s just my luck.
“Oh, shit!” She says. “I am so sorry!”
For a moment, I think I’ll get lucky and she’ll move on without even recognizing me. But when she takes a second to really look at me, the realization sets in. “Beau?”
All I say in return is, “Jo.”
“Wow! Look at you! You’ve changed so much!”
She hasn’t changed at all. Long, shiny black hair. Big brown eyes. Wide, white smile. She’s still beautiful, but I don’t let any of that distract from my loathing of her.
“How have you been?” She asks.
“Good. Really good.” I try to amp it up as much as I can.
“I just moved back to town. Maybe we could get together and catch up. You know, pick up where we left off?”
There’s a small part of me that wants to say yes because I’ve missed her so much, but I’ve been down this road, and there’s no way I’m doing it again.
