She grabs my hand in hers. “Jo, I’m always on your side. I’ve been on your side ever since you were born. I love you so much, but I think it’s about time that you got the wake up call that I got.”
“What do you mean? Is this going to turn into some sort of intervention?” I question.
“Something like that, so buckle up, buttercup. You need to get your head out of your ass. Let me tell you a story. A few years ago, I met a guy. He and I had a few fun nights together, and I thought he’d make the perfect no-strings-attached fuck buddy. Then, I find out he has a kid.”
“I already know this story, Ronnie. You two fell in love and lived happily-ever-after.”
The hand she just took to hold now receives a hard slap from her.
“Ouch!”
“Don’t interrupt,” she scolds. ”It wasn’t like we just decided to live happily-ever-after and everything worked out like a fucking fairytale. We still have to work at our relationship every single day, and before that, we had to make the conscious decision that we wanted to try to be together.”
She pauses for a moment, but I don’t say anything. I know damn well she isn’t finished.
“Did you know that I ran away when things started to get too real? Drew was in a car accident, and I had flashbacks to a not-so-pretty time in my life. I got scared, and I ran all the way to New York. Mom had to come get me and tell me I was being a fucking idiot.”
“Did it work?”
“Fuck, yes, it worked. Look, I know you’ve been through a lot of shit in your life, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to act like an asshole.”
I know she’s right, but I’m not sure I’m ready to concede that point just yet.
She asks, “Did you really think Beau was going to drop everything and run away with you just because you were having a bad day?”
“No.” I sigh. “I don’t know. I’m sure I seemed like I lost my damn mind—just showing up and trying to maul him and then begging him to run away with me. I was just so upset by everything Cindy said, and I let it get to me.”
“You are Jo Lawson. Nobody has ever made you feel inferior before, so why are you letting this shit get to you now?”
“Because it wasn’t until I got back that I really started to feel like I was behind in my life. The people I associated with were in the same spot as I was. I come back to Lilly Leaf Falls, and it becomes apparent that I haven’t done shit in my life.”
“Well, I hope now that you realize that maybe the people you were hanging out with weren’t the best.”
I nod. “That is very apparent. I just feel like I should be further along.”
She purses her lips together. “Yes, and you will get so much further by sitting on my couch, wallowing in self-pity.”
“Ronnie!”
“I’m serious. If you don’t like your living situation, find a new place to stay. If you aren’t happy with your job, find a new one. If you want to get married and have little baby Beaus, do it. But stop feeling sorry for yourself because your life isn’t the typical picture of what other people think it should be. You are a Lawson. You’ve never taken shit from anyone, yet here you are, taking shit from yourself. And I’m sorry that you ran into someone who you felt has accomplished more than you. It’s easy to compare yourself to others, but have you ever thought that maybe in your time away, you got some of the stupid decisions out of the way?”
”What do you mean?”
“You had a decade of being crazy and carefree. Most people don’t’ have that, and guess what? They end up going through a midlife crisis where they cheat on their spouses or buy expensive sports cars. You’ve already done the stupid, so maybe you have a better chance at making it when you settle down.”
I start to open my mouth, but she says, “Still not done. And this whole running away thing you’re doing with Beau, enough. Seriously, enough. That man pined for you for ten years, Joanna. Ten years. And then, you come back, and he still treats you like a queen—even with all your crazy. Stop running away from him. He’s probably the only person in the world who can put up with your shit.”
“I—“
“Jo, I don’t care what you do, but you need to figure it out. Stop jerking Beau around and give him an honest chance. Ifthat’s not what you want, then, let him go because he deserves someone who is going to love him right.”
We sit in silence for a moment before I say, “Man, you got kind of mean.”
“I just call it like I see it. And this isn’t mean. I can show you mean.”
“Please don’t,” I whine. “I hate to be the one to point this out, but you kind of sound like Mom.”
She sighs, “I know, but keep that shit to yourself.” She stands up off the couch. “Now, I have to go pack. I am heading out to Miami for a couple of days. You can stay here while you think things through, but Jo, as much as I love you, you better not be in my fucking house when I get home.”
