“What?”
“Nothing” She quickly changes the subject. “Let’s talk about Jo.”
"Did you come here to tell me to be nicer to your sister? Maybe lecture me about how wrong I am?"
"Uh, no. That's not my style.”
I take a seat in one of the chairs while Ronnie leans against the edge of the desk.
I ask, “Alright, why are you here?"
"Okay,” she takes a deep breath before continuing. “Look, I know Jo is a handful. I get it. She is basically a tiny ADHD version of myself, and while I love her to death, I know she can be a basket full of crazy sometimes.”
I have no idea how to respond to that, so I decide it’s better to just keep my mouth shut.
She goes on. "Jo has been in survival mode ever since she left Lilly Leaf Falls. While I don't know the full extent of what happened during her time away, she has told me bits and pieces. Most of the time, she was in fight or flight mode. She never had anyone care for her beyond either a good fuck or what she could do for them. Then, she came home, and you two got together. It’s clear you care about her so much. She has absolutely no idea how to handle that.”
"Yeah, I'm picking up on that.”
"All of us Lawsons have figured out how to keep Jo safe while not letting her know that we are doing it. With Jo, you almost have to make her think things are her idea. Otherwise, she will fight as hard as she can against it.”
When she sees the confused look on my face, she says, "let me give you an example. A couple of years ago, she wanted to buy a motorcycle. While I don't mind motorcycles, Jo would've been an absolute menace on one. And she wanted to buy a crotch rocket. If I would have told her it was a terrible idea, and that she would most definitely hurt herself, she would've doubleddown. Instead, I took her phone and googled all the safety concerns regarding them. Then, her phone automatically started suggesting these articles in all of her feeds. She realized on her own that it was a bad idea."
"But it wasn’t on her own,” I say. "You did that.”
"Look, if she really wanted one, I wouldn't have been able to stop her with nothing more than a few articles. My point is that I know Jo is a handful. I understand she has all of these quirks that make her hard to handle. But what I also know is that my baby sister has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. She would give her life to save a puppy. She would go to war over someone making her nieces cry. And even though she may not show it, she loves you, Beau. I've never seen her care so deeply for a man like she does for you."
“You don’t have to sell me on Jo, Ronnie. I’ve been in love with her since I was twelve. But I can’t just stop worrying about her. My brain doesn’t work like that.”
“I know. But how about instead of you getting mad at her and telling her what she can’t do, you explain to her why you’re upset? I’m guessing there’s more to the story than you’re telling her. And while I don’t need to know the reason, I think you should tell Jo.”
When I don’t respond, she keeps talking. “Jo will settle down. She’s only been back a month. It’s going to take her longer than that to decompress and feel like she’s safe. It’s hard for her to put down roots when she feels like she doesn’t have a permanent place. Right now, she’s technically staying with Dylan…or with you sometimes…or in my bed.” She sighs. “My point is that once she feels like she’s truly settled, she will be okay.”
“And you’re sure about that?”
She shrugs. “I was. And I was traveling the world longer than Jo. I know my sister.” She pauses one more time. “And so do you.”
With that, she walks out of the office. It takes me a minute to get up and get back to work. Thoughts of everything Ronnie just said play through my head.
I’ve always known that Jo’s brain has worked in mysterious ways. I may never have understood it, but I loved how unique it was.
Why is it different now? Why am I so much quicker to dismiss her?
I don’t know.
But what I do know is that I waited years for Jo to come back and even longer than that for me to have a chance with her.
So, I better figure out all the other stuff before I lose her again.
Chapter forty-six
The Best Part
Jo
My heart thumps in my chest as I walk to Beau's front door. I didn't plan on coming back here this evening, but I realized I left some things in his bedroom. I figure I should get them before he sets them on fire or something.
I do not want to go through that again.
