For now,though, he pushed the decision aside. There would be time enough for soul-searching in the days to come. Tonight was for celebration, for honoring the union that had been forged between them, whatever its true nature might be.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Sophie reluctantly stepped out of Kenneth's embrace. She wanted to stay there, wrapped in his arms, for the rest of the night. But she knew that wasn't possible. Not when their marriage was built on duty rather than love.
Returning to the high table,Sophie found her goblet quickly refilled. The wine helped dull the ache in her chest, the longing for a connection with Kenneth that seemed increasingly out of reach. But it also brought with it a growing worry about the wedding night to come.
Sophie had never beenwith a man before, and the thought of sharing Kenneth's bed filled her with equal parts excitement and trepidation. Would he be gentle with her? Would he see it as just another duty to be fulfilled? Or would he perhaps, in the privacy of their chambers, show her the passion she glimpsed in rare, unguarded moments?
As the eveningwore on and the wine continued to flow, Sophie found her thoughts becoming increasingly muddled. The worryabout the wedding night blended with her growing frustration at Kenneth's aloofness, creating a potent mix of emotions that threatened to overflow.
"Ye ken,"she said, leaning close to Kenneth as they sat side by side at the high table, "I was so nervous about marrying ye. I thought ye were so stern and cold. But now I see there's more to ye than that."
Kenneth stiffened beside her,his eyes widening slightly. "Sophie, perhaps ye've had enough wine for tonight," he said, reaching for her goblet.
But Sophie wasn'tready to be silenced. The wine had given her a courage she usually lacked around her imposing husband. "Nay, listen to me," she insisted. "I want ye to ken that I... I care for ye, Kenneth. More than I should, perhaps. I ken this marriage is about duty for ye, but for me..."
She trailed off,suddenly aware of the vulnerability in her words. Kenneth was looking at her with an unreadable expression, his jaw clenched tight.
"Sophie,"he said, his voice low and strained, "ye're drunk. Ye daenae ken what ye're saying."
Sophie felttears prick at her eyes. "I do ken," she whispered. "I ken that I want this marriage to be more than just a political alliance. I want..."
But before she could finish,Kenneth stood abruptly. "I think it's time we retired for the night," he announced, loud enough for those nearby to hear. "Me wife is... overtired."
Sophie felta wave of humiliation wash over her as Kenneth helped her to her feet. She had made a fool of herself, laying her heart bare only to have it dismissed as drunken ramblings.
The walkto their chambers was a blur. Sophie was vaguely aware of the ribald jokes and suggestive comments from the guests they passed, but all she could focus on was the rigid set of Kenneth's shoulders as he led her through the castle. As they reached their chambers, Kenneth closed the door behind them with a decisive click. Sophie stood in the center of the room, her head spinning slightly from the wine and the whirlwind of emotions coursing through her. She was acutely aware of Kenneth's presence, his large frame seeming to fill the space.
"Kenneth, I..."she began, her voice husky with emotion and drink. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say, only that she needed to bridge the distance between them somehow.
Sophie took a step forward,intending to... what? She wasn't sure. But her feet betrayed her, and she stumbled. Her hands landed on Kenneth's broad chest, steadying herself. She looked up at him, and the intensity in his eyes took her breath away.
Without thinking,driven by liquid courage and a desperate need to connect, Sophie pushed up on her toes and pressed her lips to Kenneth's. For a heartbeat, he was still as stone. Then, with a low growl that sent shivers down her spine, he responded.
His arms wrappedaround her waist, pulling her flush against him. The kiss was everything Sophie had dreamed of and more - passionate, desperate, filled with a hunger that matched her own. Kenneth's hands roamed her back, tangling in her hair as he deepened the kiss. Sophie moaned softly, her fingers clutching at his shirt, wanting to be closer still.
But as quickly asit began, it ended. Kenneth wrenched himself away, and Sophie swayed at the sudden loss of contact. She blinked up at him, seeing the conflict raging in his eyes.
"Sophie,"he rasped, his voice sending another shiver through her, "ye're drunk. We cannae... I cannae..."
"Please,"she whispered, reaching for him again, "I want ye, Kenneth." And she did. Oh, how she wanted him.
For a moment,Sophie thought he might give in. The naked desire in his eyes made her breath catch. But then he shook his head, his jaw clenching. "Nae like this," he said firmly. "Nae when ye're nae in yer right mind."
Disappointment washed over her,but even through the haze of wine, Sophie understood. She nodded, suddenly feeling very tired.
With gentle hands,Kenneth began to help her out of her wedding gown. His touches were careful, efficient, but each brush of his fingers against her skin sent sparks through Sophie. She caught him swallowing hard as he helped her into hernightshift, and a small part of her thrilled at the effect she had on him.
Once she wasready for bed, Kenneth guided her to it. "Get some sleep," he said, his voice gruff but not unkind. "Ye'll feel better in the morning."
As Sophie settledinto the bed, she watched Kenneth begin to undress. Her eyes traced the planes of his muscled back, and she felt a pang of longing. "Kenneth," she murmured sleepily, gathering her courage, "will ye hold me? Just for tonight?"
She held her breath,waiting for his response. For a long moment, he didn't move, and Sophie's heart sank. But then, with a sigh that sounded almost like defeat, he slipped into the bed beside her.
Hesitantly,Kenneth wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. Sophie sighed contentedly, snuggling into his warmth. This wasn't quite how she'd imagined their wedding night, but feeling Kenneth's strong arms around her, his steady heartbeat against her back, was more comforting than she could have imagined.
"Goodnight, Kenneth,"she whispered, already drifting off to sleep.
