Rei:You're self-sabotaging. You know that right?
Lucy:Or I'm being realistic. We barely know each other.
Rei:You've been circling each other for three years. You know him better than you know yourself.
Lucy:I need to think.
Rei:Don't think. Just feel. What do you feel when you're with Jake?
Lucy stared at her phone. What did she feel? Safe. Seen. Like she could be herself—messy and scared and imperfect—and it would be okay.
Like she was home.
But she couldn't text that to Rei. Because admitting it would mean admitting she'd just pushed away the best thing to happen to her in five years.
Lucy:I feel confused. I need space to figure it out.
Rei:Fine. But don't take too long. Good men don't wait forever.
Lucy set down her phone and looked around her apartment. It was the same apartment she'd lived in for five years. The same furniture, the same decorations, the same everything.
Nothing had changed. Except her.
She'd been so sure this morning when she'd texted Jake at 5:30. Sure she was making the right choice about the bakery. Sure about them.
But then the town had reacted so badly. And Jake had gotten hurt. And everything she'd been so certain about suddenly felt fragile and temporary.
What if she sold the bakery and regretted it? What if she left for culinary school and came back to find that Jake had moved on, realized she wasn't worth waiting for?
What if she'd ruined everything by wanting too much, too fast?
Lucy pulled off Jake's jacket and buried her face in it. It smelled like him—soap and laundry detergent and something indefinably Jake.
She'd told him they might not know each other. But that was a lie. She knew him. Knew he watched old westerns at 3 AM because they made him feel close to his dad. Knew he held his left shoulder when he was stressed. Knew he was terrified of letting people down but even more terrified of letting himself want things.
She knew him. And she was pushing him away anyway.
Because that's what Lucy did when she was scared. She pushed. She created distance. She convinced herself that wanting things was selfish and that she was better off alone.
Her phone buzzed. Not Rei this time. Uncle Walter.
Uncle Walter:Heard you and Jake had words after the game. Want to talk?
Lucy:How does everyone in this town know everything?
Uncle Walter:Marcus told Rei. Rei told me. I'm coming over.
Lucy:You don't have to—
But Uncle Walter was already knocking on her door.
Lucy let him in, and he took one look at her face and pulled her into a hug.
"Tell me what happened."
Lucy told him everything—the panic about the bakery, the fear that she'd encouraged Jake to make the wrong choice, the way she'd told him they might not really know each other.
"So you pushed him away," Uncle Walter said when she finished.
