“Joseph, do us all a favor: quit pretending to be someone you’re not. The reason why I sleep at night is because I don’t deny who I am. Sure, it might suck some days, but understanding myself is one of the reasons why I walk so effortlessly through life. Despite all the lies and deceit, I understand who I am. I understand where I’m headed. You need that same thing for yourself.”
He growled. “Is that so?”
“So, sure, you might not be able to love me. Sure, I may have come up here prepared to confess some feelings I may or may not have caught while beneath the heel of your boot. But even as I’m standing here, you’re still lying to me. You’re still manipulating me, and closing yourself off to me, and with all the research I’ve done in my sleep--.”
“You have no idea what you’ve stumbled into.”
I drew in a deep breath. “Maybe not. But I know it affects my entire family, including myself. Even though I don’t have all of the pieces, Joseph, I will find them. Because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s pulling the truth out of those I care about the most. And believe it or not, you’re part of that group.”
He held his head high, trying to tower over me. “You love me, don’t you?”
I clicked my tongue. “Eh, I wouldn’t go that far. You’re not really deserving of that kind of thing from me. You of all people should understand that. But now that I’ve confronted you and looked in your face, I know something you’re not telling me.”
He took a step back and scoffed. “And what the hell do you think you know?”
I shrugged. “You have feelings for me that you’re not expressing because you don’t want to be vulnerable. You don’t want to have any weak points. And because of that, whatever relationship we’ve cultivated that isn’t professional ends now.”
He paused. “Come again?”
I cleared my throat. “We have a professional relationship, and that’s it. That’s where I draw the line. If you still want to lie to me about things and how you feel, then I can’t do this with you. I deserve a Dom that’s truthful. I deserve a Master that’s meticulous, but not manipulative. And I sure as hell deserve a Daddy that’s, at the very least, kind. But you’re none of these things. So, our relationship—however brief it has been—stops now.”
I turned away from him as he barked my name, but I didn’t stop. I said what I needed to say, I saw what I needed to see, and I heard what I needed to hear. It hurt, of course, knowing that he didn’t even remotely feel the way I did. And while I knew he felt something, watching him lie so blatantly was the last straw for me.
“Get back here, Rebecca!” he bellowed.
“Have a nice afternoon, Joseph,” I said casually.
I took a half day and logged myself out of the system. I gathered my things and took the long way down to my car before heading home to drown my sorrows in ice cream and social media. I needed to do more investigating, anyway. I needed to see if I could wear Mom or Dad down just enough to tell me the things I needed to hear.
Because now that I had JoJo’s interpretation of his relationship with my sister, I needed theirs.
26
Joseph
“Fucking Christ!”I roared.
I picked up my office chair and threw it into my bookcase. Lamps came crashing down and crunched against the floor. Books flew in every direction and scattered around my office. Pictures with the stock photos still in them crashed to the ground, shattering the glass into a million pieces.
And when my secretary whipped open my office door, her jaw hit the floor. “Mr. Ryker! Is everything--?”
I ripped my peacoat off the back of my chair. “I’m out for the rest of the day. Close everything down and shift my schedule.”
“But, sir, you have a phone conference that--.”
“I said everything, Lexie! For fuck’s sake!”
She quickly backed out of my office as I gathered my things. If Rebecca wanted answers, then she’d get her fucking answers. She wouldn’t like any of them, though. Not a single one.
But, if I had already lost her, then what the hell was the point of keeping the secrets I kept?
I sped all the way to her apartment. I stormed up the stairs since the elevator was apparently not working. Again. I banged my fist against her door so loudly that her neighbors poked their heads out to see what the fuck was going on.
However, all she did was open the door and walk away.
“I was wondering if you’d show up,” she said.
I charged into her apartment and slammed the door behind me. “You want to know what the hell happened?”
