And I didn’t want to give up on him like so many others had.
“I’m so sorry,” I said softly.
I grabbed my purse and stood, causing Michael to stand with me. “Is something wrong?”
I sighed. “I just—you are so kind, and you look so handsome. But--.”
“There’s someone else?”
I cleared my throat. “Sort of, yeah.”
He slid his hands into his pockets. “Well, I appreciate you being honest with me.”
“I’m really sorry.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be. You can’t control who you heart wants. Does he treat you well, though? Because you deserve to be treated well.”
He treats me like his good little girl.“For the most part, yes. He’s got some baggage he needs to unpack, but we all know how that goes.”
He nodded. “Well, I can give you a ride home if you’d like.”
I stepped out from behind the table. “No, no. I’ll take a cab. That’s how I got here, so I’ve got no issues taking it back home.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to strand you.”
I smiled. “You’re very kind, but I promise I’m okay. Thank you for being so understanding, though.”
He tilted his head. “Sure you don’t just want to enjoy the meal?”
I looked down at the bread. “To be honest, I can’t say I’m that hungry. Just got a lot on my mind and all.”
“Well, I hope things work out for you. But, if you change your mind, you know how to find me.”
I giggled softly. “I do, yes.”
He held out his hand. “Our time, however brief, was wonderful.”
I shook his hand, but there was no spark like there was when JoJo touched me. “You took the words right out of my mouth.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“You too, Michael.”
As I wandered out of the restaurant and toward the sidewalk, I found myself alone with my thoughts. I kept peering over my shoulder at the place behind me, wondering if I was making a huge mistake. Maybe that was my shot at a normal, regular, beautiful life. And maybe I had just squandered it on the most broken, most insane man on the face of this planet. But, deep down in the pit of my gut, I believed that JoJo was worth it.
If I could just get him to talk about all the shit he was holding onto in the pit of his soul.
Cars whizzed by me like I didn’t exist, and people flooded the streets for their nighttime routine. Clubs started blasting music with thumping bass notes and all I wanted was some peace and quiet. I dug around in my purse and pulled out my phone. Loneliness crept into the stomach of my heart as I looked down at my phone and started scrolling through my contacts. I begged myself not to do it. I tried to ignore the tug in my gut as my finger hovered over his name.
I was weak to him, even without his presence, and as I dialed the number, I held the phone up to my ear.
“This is Joseph,” he said gruffly.
Panic gripped my heart, and it began racing. I quickly hung up the phone and held it against my chest, wondering what the fuck had come over me. My cell phone quickly started ringing in my hand though. It vibrated and dinged with the little mechanical song I had chosen when I first purchased it, and I yelped as I stuffed it back into my purse.
Why the hell I thought calling him was a good idea in the first place, I had no clue. I couldn’t believe how easy it had been to invite him back into my world after some of the shit he had pulled. Shouldn’t I want better than him? Someone who protected me and kept me safe? Someone who loved me and didn’t find that to be a shameful thing?
Then again, he does make me feel safe.
