“You breathe easier when she’s around.”
“That makes no fucking sense.” Especially when she’s not here, and if anything, I feel like my breathing is harder now, and I really want to know what she’d initially typed.
Darren shrugs and takes a sip of his beer.
“We’re just friends,” I double down.
“I remember having a friend like that.” The cocky bastard smirks, and I groan, because I walked right into that one.
“We’re not like you and Lacey.”
The three of us were friends in high school, but Darren was very obviously in love with Lacey. Obvious to everyone except her, until I bailed on a road trip, and they figured their shit out. They’ve been inseparable ever since, but Sav and I don’t have that kind of history.
“I think you need to decide if that just is important enough to lose the friends. Because when people like you and Savannah are ‘just friends’ it means someone is too afraid of their feelings and holding onto scraps because it’s better than nothing.”
“It’s not scraps…” I argue, but he gives me a look, and I vividly remember watching him watch her go on dates with other assholes because he was afraid to lose what they had.
“Compared to what it could be,” he amends.
“I’m not afraid of losing her friendship, D. I wouldn’t be good in a relationship, but this works. We’re good as friends.”
“For now, because you’re both afraid,” he agrees. “But real friends don’t bullshit. The longer you’re ‘just friends’, the closer you get, the more comfortable she’ll become, and when she tells you she wants more than friends, you’ll have to decide if you’d rather let her in or lose her.”
My face must show my terror at that thought, but I brush it off in the hopes he won’t call me on it.
“With the right person, losing her is a million times scarier.”
No such luck.
“And Lacey’s your person because you can breathe with her?”
“See, you’re already getting it.”
“You’re drunk.” I nudge him on his stool.
“I’m barely tipsy,” he argues. “I’m out, but you should stay here and find yourself some company.” Darren flashes me an annoying smirk. “Unless you’re not in the mood? Rather talk to your friend?”
“I need beauty sleep so I can kick ass tomorrow.”
“Keep telling yourself that.” He shakes his head at me before heading upstairs.
I do the rounds and make sure everyone will be in their rooms by curfew, then make my way up to the room we’re sharing. Darren is already snoring, clutching his phone like he either fell asleep talking to Lacey, or waiting on her call.
I reread my last few texts with Savannah, which, other than very recent innuendo filled ones, are nothing different from what I text to guys on the team, or even Lacey.
The relief that Darren is wrong is short-lived though, because something makes me check my Photos app. I never take any. Maybe a screenshot of something I need to remember, or rarely to document cute shit Izzie and Tatum do, but I never have photos of me. Except Iz borrowed my phone at the last game she came to, and not only are my eyes on Savannah every time we’re in the frame together, but I smile so fucking much when she’s around. I smile with Iz too, obviously, but she was supposed to be working on math homework and using my phone as a calculator. The smiles weren’t for her. I wasn’t posing…they’re just what happen when I’m near Savannah.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Savannah
Asshole Stage
Noah
Izzie wanted me to tell you open skate is at 3, in case you’re bored.
Me
