Another Benefit
I’m seeing stars, not sure if I’ll ever be able to move again, but I know two things for certain. One is that I am in love with Noah Callahan, and surprisingly, his ability to give me multiple orgasms doesn’t even make the top five reasons why. The second is that I need him inside me. It felt cheap to do as part of the deal, trading sex for babysitting, but we’re friends now. I want him, I’m pretty sure he wants me – or at least his body does – and I’ll regret playing it safe way more than being with Noah, especially when my heart is already involved. We’re not going to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after, but sex with Noah would be mind-blowing, with him attentive to my every need, and I deserve that. To experience it at least once. And he deserves more than just watching me come while he goes to sleep with blue balls again.
I get up on my knees and reach for the button on his jeans, but he puts his hand out to stop me.
“Tonight is about you, Savannah,” he argues.
“Good, because I want you inside me.” I try to sound confident and unaffected, but my voice wavers.
“You what?”
“I want you inside me.” I swallow. I’m not normally so vocal about my wants, but, not to sound too dramatic, I feel like I might die if he doesn’t fill me.
“You said no sex.”
“I didn’t want to trade it for hockey tidbits.”
“And now?”
“You said we’re friends, right?”
“I think we are.”
“This can be another benefit.”
He’s skeptical, because this whole thing started with the stipulation that sex not be a benefit. But it’s not like I can tell him it’s because I’m in love with him and willing to take what I can get.
“We don’t have to do anything, Savannah.”
“I want to. I can say it’ll be helpful for the book, but I like you and I trust you and you make me feel more beautiful and alive than I ever have before. You won’t lie and pretend this is more than it is, but I also think you’d take care of me. Or…you know what I mean.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Positive.”
He treats me like I’m breakable at first, with slow kisses, but I run my hands down his chest and he shivers, groaning when I reach his treasure trail. By the time I’m unzipping his jeans, his lips are trying to claim mine. I can’t wait to feel the weight of him on me, so I cut off the kiss to deal with his jeans, taking them all the way off before running my hands through the strip of hair from his belly button to the waistband of his boxers, trying not to let his hiss, and the “Fuck, Savanna,” that comes after go to my head.
My cockiness disappears when I pull down the boxers and his dick springs free. It’s bigger than I was expecting and I bite my bottom lip, waiting for nerves that don’t come as I stare down his hard length, already glistening with a bead of precum.
“You’re killing me, Savannah,” Noah warns.
“The feeling’s mutual,” I assure him, but I can hear the change in my voice, and the smile I give him screams, ‘I want you.’
“Fuck.”
He sits up and takes my mouth in a kiss that sends even more heat to my core. I end up on my back, his body pressing mine into the mattress and it feels like I’m on fire. My legs hook around his waist, with nothing between us this time, and Noah groans before I feel his dick rubbing against my core. We keep kissing, grinding against each other, breathing heavy, and I am aching to pull him inside me.
Which Noah must feel, because he reaches over me to get a condom from the bedside drawer. He sheathes himself while deepening the kiss, then I feel his finger at my entrance.
“Fuck,” he hisses.
“You say that a lot.”
“Just having trouble believing you’re real.”
He adds a second finger, then a third as I’m grinding against his hand and he’s swallowing my moans with kisses.
He must determine I’m ready for him because he pulls his fingers out and looks me in the eye.
