I take a deep breath and let it out once we’re in the elevator, which I don’t usually take, but I think I would have followed them wherever they went at that point.
“That was perfect,” Lacey tells me. “You okay?”
“I’m good, just…really glad you guys were there for that.” Old me would have walked in and pretended I hadn’t heard them. I would have stayed and answered all her friends’ questions. Apologized for not confiding in her. Might have even stayed in the room tonight and cried myself to sleep. Because I hate confrontation, and I’m terrible at making friends.
“Anytime,” Lacey assures me before I turn my focus on Darren.
“Can you not tell him?” I ask. “Please?”
“Sav…”
“He’s got so much on his plate, with Izzie and midterms and hockey and I don’t want to be another stress on top of that. We’re not together anymore, so he shouldn’t have to worry about this when it’s nothing. It’s taken care of, and it’s none of his business.”
“Savannah,” he pleads, but I saw his expression change when I mentioned everything on Noah’s plate. Because I’m sure I’m not the only person who sees how overwhelmed he’s been.
“You know I’m right.”
He and Lacey exchange a look before he sighs. “I won’t tell him what happened as long as you don’t stay there. I get it if you don’t feel comfortable with Lacey, but she can stay with me, or…”
“My parents live close,” I assure him. “I hardly slept in my dorm last year.”
“Okay then. I have to go to practice,” he tells his girlfriend, leaning down to kiss her, before he turns to me. “But you’re not right, Savannah. Whatever is going on between you…he would want to know. I promise.”
He leaves before I can argue.
“So…poké bowls, or are we boring?” Lacey loops her arm through mine again.
* * *
Dinner is delicious, and since the restaurant is off campus, we’re mostly left alone. Hockey boys and the games connect us, but we talk about tv shows, movies, classes…anything and everything. I don’t even realize how long we’ve been there until Lacey occasionally glancing at her phone turns into a continuous exchange, with a smile lighting up her face.
“Practice is over?” I ask.
“Yeah, but he can miss me for a little while.”
“You’re good. Thank you for hanging out with me. This was nice.”
“Are you sure you want to drive home? My place literally has a free bed, and if I’m the problem, Darren would love an excuse for a sleepover.”
I hesitate, because she has been so good to me today, and I really don’t want to move back home for another semester, because that would let my parents know I don’t feel safe in my room anymore, then my brothers and the entire football team would know as well, but the alternative is trusting Lacey.
“What are you thinking?”
“You’ve been a godsend today. And even on Friday, you saw right through Kinsey and put her in her place with a smile.”
“She’s the one who told everyone, right?”
“She is,” I agree. “But you never tried to hang out with me like this before. You didn’t want my number until this morning, and the fact that you asked Parker, not Noah, tells me that you knew about us. But then you strongarmed your paper to not do me dirty, and I just…I don’t know what to think. Because I want to trust you, but I’m a terrible judge of character. And is it even worth it? When Noah and I…”
I can’t say the words, because it hurts, but she looks at me with nothing but sympathy and understanding, which is so much better than the pity and defensiveness I was expecting.
“Babe, I totally understand where you’re coming from. But I couldn’t care less who your brother is. Have you seen Darren? Honestly, if I had ulterior motives in befriending you, it would be for Noah. But it’s mostly for me, because you’re funny when you let yourself be, Darren is right about your baking, and Friday was really fun. The only reason I wasn’t pursuing you earlier is because you made it seem like you didn’t want me to. Every time we invited you to sit with us, you said no, which, I get it, Izzie probably didn’t want to share you, and the rotating WAGs have varying degrees of quality, but when you came alone…you really didn’t have to be. You let me in on Friday, and that’s when I asked Noah for your number. In a text that he only got back to on Saturday, telling me he felt bad giving it out without asking, especially after what happened, but that made me think you needed someone more than ever, so he hinted that you might be tight with Parker. And Darren doesn’t keep secrets from me, so I’ve known since the team found out over Christmas holidays, in case that matters.”
“I’m really bad at making friends,” I admit. “My best…Kinsey often made me feel like an annoying burden, someone she had to deal with, so I just internalized it. Every time I go talk to someone, I need a purpose, and leave as soon as I’ve achieved it, because I assume that’s how everyone sees me. I figured you invited me because you felt bad, but didn’t want me there.”
“I’m not rude, so if you had walked up and asked me to join, I would have said yes, like I do for Donovan’s constant string of weekend stands, but I don’t invite people I don’t want to hang out with. And my room is my fortress, so if I let you in, it’s because I trust you, and I don’t think you can trust people you’re trying to screw over. Also, Noah will be godfather to my kids someday, so it would really suck if he hates me.”
I laugh, because that must be why she said that last bit.
