“It means?—”
“I know what malefactor means, Svana! I am not a malefactor.”
“You’re not? Are yousure?”I asked. I listened to his words. “Wait. You said I am, not ‘I’m.’”
“What?” he said. “Yes, I am. I’msure.I’m not a criminal!”
“No, the contraction—I mean! Oh! It wouldn’t change how I feel about you,” I confessed. “Or how I looked at you. I would still—” I stopped, eyes wide.
Evergreen paused, brows coming to a point. “…How do youfeelabout me, Princess?”
I moved on. “Then it’s your hatred for His Majesty. Does it bleed into your opinion ofme?”I asked.
“I don’thateyour father, love,” he said. His voice was smoother.
“I’mnothim. I willnotpay for his sins!” I added.
“You really…?” Mr. Evergreen scowled. “Svana… I… Alright. Fine. I did not go home because I did not want to go home. While I do nothatethe King, I do not love him either. He is strictly a piece on the board I cannot control.”
“Oh, and you control me?” I hissed.
“That’s not… That’s not what I meant,” he said. “I meant… I prefer to be here.”
“Under a king who’d have you killed for not wanting to kill your countrymen?” I asked.
“Tell me yours wouldn’t,” he said.
“I-”
“Look me in my eyes and tell me that King Nikolai would not have had me hung for treason if he felt like it.”
“I-I…I can’t,” I said.
“War is war,” he said. “It is what it is. It changes folk, for better or for worse. Iwantedto remain here. I told you, my life was here. My friends, my father, my name—even if Samhadstood up for us lowly immigrant peasants, even if we’d been granted refuge somewhere in this land, even if Icouldhave gone home at any point or slipped away without a trace, my father did not have such mobility. He was very sick. Very sick, Svana! I remained here with him so that in his last days, he could have the care of the Palace, that Samdidsee to, that he did not have to die alone, and did not have to suffer, and I’m not sorry for it! I am not sorry for the costs I paid to give him that. And I’m certainly not angry with Sameer when he was just as confined as I was.” He took a sharp breath. “When he passed, I went. Alright? I went to fight because I had to, but because what other purpose did I have once he was gone? What other place? I was angry and I did what I had to, to stay near the people I loved who remained alive. And when the Treaty came, I… I stayed then, too. Because… Because there are promises I made that I felt… possibly, somehow, I could find a way to keep.”
“Duty,” I said.
“What?”
“That feeling? That guilt? The promises?” I explained. “That’s duty. The very thing you torment for. But I cannot fault you for the same vice that puppeteers me. Duty is whyI’mhere. WhyImust marry Sameer. I understand, and, for what it’s worth, though I am not as close as perhaps you were to yours, I understand how your father’s welfare might influence your…fear. If something were to happen to His Majesty, to my father, I… I would feel complicatedly lost.”
He pinched the space between his eyes. “Lost, yes. But …You will be taken care of,” he said. “Sam is a good man, I hope you’ll see.”
“YouhopeI’ll see?” I asked.
He took a deep breath. “You will. It did not take me long to like him. He welcomed me right away.”
“You’rea good man,” I said. “Abetterone, I’d wager.” A single brow went up and he brooded at the statement. I dropped my arms to my side. “Tell me I’m wrong,” I dared him.
“You’re wrong,”he said. “I am a rake and a liar.”
“The number of times you’ve conflicted that very accusation—the number of ways it conflicts itself! You don’t have any idea who you are,Evergreen!”I cried. “Lie to me. Lie to me again. Lie to your Queen! I want to hear it!”
“It’s not a lie,” he said.
“Iwantto hear you say it. Tell me. Tell me that if your places were interchanged, you would seek the company of any other woman than me, your wife! Thatthatis just how good men, good husbands behave, even to their soulmates.”
“Ican’t,”he said.
