“I think I’ll go to bed now,” I said, moving to the door. “Cousin?”
“Hmm?”
“When you say you enjoy hurting people… You mean bad people, right?”
“I only hurt bad people, Svana,” he said.
“Good.”
“Good night, Your Highness.”
“Good night, Ser.”
Chapter 11
Iyawned violently as we arrived at the familiar patch of wildflowers the farmhouse oversaw, and Ireallytook time to wonder how my cousin seemed unaffected. I could barely slide off of Isaac, and though she had only tried to throw me a couple of times, I felt like a novice handler. The trouble was not with her. It was with me andmymomentum—my mood, as Evergreen would say. I moved like molasses poured upon a grassy plateau and she felt that weakness.
Falling asleep past Ser Willoughby’s visit had been a failed idea. Somewhere between the embarrassment of divulging secrets of my childhood, and the guilt of working my Blade an entire nightandan entire morning ate at me. Somewhere else, thoughts of other Sers plagued what might be optimism, and it was difficult to shake the dust of what Elías’ had said on the lawn.
I felt helpless.
The Lord Commander had only ever done his job. He had only ever wanted the best for me—only protectedmyobnoxious wants, and, in return, I was sunbathing beneath the Chalke sky while simultaneously sabotaging everything he’d ever sacrificedto see to my wellbeing, too proud to apologize and too sure he’d consider it praise for his deep devotion.
A lesson in manners,he’d promised, and a Rusted Blade to see to the job. I scoffed.
Ser Willoughby glanced at me. I smiled.
Mr. Evergreen did not need manners. He needed to run far, far away from me, and far away from Ser Elías. And then even farther from my deranged, and strangely considerate cousin.
But I didn’twanthim to run. I wanted him to stay. I wanted to ride with him every day for the rest of our lives, and I wanted him to wantme.
Mr. Evergreen gathered Ice’s lead from my hand and he released her into the fenced area along with Edith. Ser Willoughby ushered in his horse and then Miss Jocelyn’s, and when they were all happily running amuck, he latched the gate and patted my swordsman on his back. He leaned in, whispered something, and for it, Cyrus looked in my direction.
Josie came and gushed beside me. She said,“Ser Willoughby asked to show me the riverside.”
“He did?”I asked.
“He did, yes,”she said.“He said it was with your permission.”
“Oh, yes.”I nodded.“Yes. Of course.”
My heart raced. As promised, I’d be alone with Mr. Evergreen. Willoughby had come through.
Josie was glad. She buzzed.“I am forever in your debt, Miss Svana! Had it not been for you, I would never have spoken to him. Not so freely. Not like this. I am over the moon.”
“Oh, I don’t know if that’s true,” I told her. I touched my cheek, feeling my ownexcitement. “You were friends before my interference. Although he…” I stopped, remembering his request and then his special role. “Are you certain you wish to be alone?”
The boys sauntered closer; my cousin dawned a smile that felt created for her.
“I don’t mind revoking my permission,”I whispered.
Josie twisted. “What? No.”
“It’s just?—”
Willoughby offered her his hand. “At your leave, Miss Jocelyn,” he said.
Her delight lifted her heels half an inch. She took his hand more modestly, but when she curtsied to Mr. Evergreen and myself, I swallowed a knot.
