His words struck me, and something, somethingdarkI’d never seen in him waited behind his eyes. There was an unkept anger to his breath.
“Elías…” I said softly.
“Atworst,you destroy yourself the moment you realize that even if you keep him, he can never truly have you.”
I was embarrassed. “I am your Princess,” I managed. “My word is your law.”
“The King’sword is my law.God’sword is my law. Your word means nothing.”
“Is that so?” I asked. “This? From a friend?”
“It cannot fester,” he said.
I blackened my face. “When I receive correspondence, you will deliver it to me. Is that clear?” I asked.
“Svana-”
“You must allow me to make choices for myself!” I shrieked. We both hated the sound, but I could not confine it any longer. “How…How can I be expected to rule an empire,twoempires, if even my closest companion treats me like a child?” I asked. “You are setting me up for failure by not allowing me the chance to fail!”
After a second, he nodded, “Fine,” and went toward the door.
“Elías…”I said. “Wait.”
He stopped and turned on the heel of his boot, slowly. “What?”
“I-I’m sorry,” I said. “I just-”
“You may be eighteen now, Your Highness, but a month ago you were not. You were a child in the eyes ofmarriage.”
“In marriage, but not war! Does that make sense to you?” I asked.
“A child nonetheless, and you may not bemine, myflesh and my blood, but I have always loved you as if you wer,e and from the moment you came into existence. When you have wept, I have held you. When you have hid, I have scoured the halls for phantoms. And when this goes badly for you, and itwillgo very badly for you, I will be right here, by your side, where I havealwaysstood, and the threat of yourtraumawill not be enough to save him!”
“Deliver my mail!” I yelled, reignited.
He made a sharp noise of disagreement, then slammed the door as he went, perhaps for the first time in our lives.
I shuddered at the realization—the realization that he had left—and I debated whether I should give chase or not. But then lighthearted laughter and neighs sang from outside my window pane, and the chance at an easy reconciliation fell away. By the time I’d found the courage to enter the hall, it was dead silent.
Ser Elías was gone, swallowed into duty, vanished within the corridors of the Palace. I stood for several minutes, hollow. Like I had fractured something important. Something I could not repair.
“Elías?” I asked anyway.
Nothing.
Chapter 7
Five Years Ago
“As I was saying,”I said.
I came and stood confidently beside Miss Jocelyn in the yard. The boys traveled ahead of us to retrieve the horses.
“Please do your very best to take every opportunity to speak to Ser Willoughby alone.”
Josie took a double-take. “Are you well?” she worried. “You’re so flushed.”
“I’m fine,” I lied. “I’ve just had the worst fight in the world with Ser Elías, and I think he might loathe me forever, and I am incredibly desperate to be sure it was worth it, but I’m fine.”
