“Yes. He thought I was just giving it to him, but I wasn’t. He saved my life, and it’s not unheard of–plenty of knights earn their suits by saving the lives of their lords and ladies or through service.”
“Yes,” he said. “I’m surprised he said no.”
“Itwouldelevate his status,” I said. “Immensely. He wouldn’t be able to complain about his station anymore.”
“That’s true,” he said. There was a pause.
“Would you… Would you be alright with that? Would you entertain the idea, as Lord Commander?” I asked.
Elías slowly agreed. “Yes. As Lord Commander, I would be honored to serve with him,” he said. “He’s more thandemonstrated his commitment toward your safety, I think, and that’s the whole point of the Queensguard.”
“Queensguard,”I said, sharp. “That’s the first time I’ve heard it said.”
“I’m sorry.”
“...What if I simply did it anyway? What if I didn’t give him the option to refuse? Then he wouldhaveto live here with me. Sameer couldn’t keep him. And refusing the knighthood would be…well, treason. Right?”
“Not exactly,” Elías said.
“But he’d be refusing a direct order from his Princess–Queen–his Queen.”
“No. Men can refuse the knighthood, Svana,” he said. “It’s an honor, not something you can make him do.”
“Ugh.”
“But… knowing your Cyrus, if you made a public spectacle of it… He probably would be too flattered to refuse.”
My eyes darted to his. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. Cyrus Evergreen is the flashiest person I’ve ever known! Ha! Take that, you rake!” I fisted the air once in delight.
Elías chuckled.
“Would it be enough though?” I asked. “If my mother… I’m so sorry to keep asking you like this, but if my mother hadn’t done what she did, would it have been enough for you to have her but never trulyhaveher? Could you have lived with your secret boorish deal?”
“I can’t answer that for another man, but I can tell you that yes, for me, it would’ve been enough. Love, true love, like what I felt for your mother, like what I feel for her every day, does not wither with time or circumstance. If Willem Ólason loves you the way you love him, his honor is only so long-lasting. Eventually, your absence or your presence, depending on if he accepts theknighthood, will eat him alive and he will seek any chance he can find to be close to you, even if not for physical pursuits.”
I had to stop. “Did she appreciate your devotion?” I asked. “Did my mother realize how much you cared for her? The things you would endure for her?”
“Yes,” Elías said. “Your mother and I loved each other equally.”
“I don’t want to be like her,” I said. “Sometimes when I walk these halls, I feel a certain kind of sadness. I always used to worry what that meant, that I would become as sad as her. But I don’t want to be. And I don’t want to be like my father either. I want to be me. My own person. I want my people to hear my name and associate it with the things I do. And I want to do good things, like give freedom and peace, and love to our people. I want them to see that love exists. That even in the hardest of times, I am there, and I am there protecting those things. Protecting love. Love of family, love of empire, love of each other and love of self. My father always saidiron does not shatter,but in his letter–his last letter–he said itbuilds.Itprotects.I wantthatto be the Eisson legacy. Not the War. Not the death of a queen or king. The War was never about winning, it was about protecting Oreia and building its future, and you can’t do that if you don’t have something worth building for.”
“You’re right,” he said.
“‘This is the best that I can do’ is not enough,” I said. “No. We need to rework the Treaty. We need to say to Chalke,thisis your option. If you refuse then… Then so be it. Treaty’s off. Here are the consequences.”
“Not exactly how treaties work when already signed, but wars have been started for less. Are you willing to risk that? Risk war for your Willem?”
“It’s not just for Willem,” I told him. “It’s for Oreia. It’s for justice. It’s for… It’s for women everywhere. For every little girlwho looks at me and thinks ‘that is my queen. She wasn’t traded. She wasn’t bought. She wasn’t afraid. She chose her fate, just as I can choose mine.’ Yes. I’m willing to risk war for that. Are you?”
“And a thousand more to follow, with that purpose,” he said. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that; however.”
“Right. Of course. We need to word it in a way that benefits both kingdoms, not just me.” I sat at the helm of the desk and drew the Treaty closer. “How do I do that?”
“Land,” Elías said. “Marriages. Money. Resources.”
“Right.” I sat still. Then I looked up at him over my back.
“Here,” he said. He pulled the map out from beneath the parchment, placing it half way over the Treaty. “Look at the map. Look at the houses.”
