“I want you,” he said, whispering. “Iwantthis. I just want you to be sure.”
“I am.” I smiled hopefully. “I am so very sure, Willem. As evil as she was, Hellveig was right in every way; had you remained in King’s Land I would have let you have me. I would have begged you to marry me. I would have…I would have accepted your declaration…had it come. She was right to worry.”
He closed his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I said, quicker. “That’s too much to say. I–”
“No,” he said. He met my eyes. “No, it’s not too much to say. It’s everything I want to hear. It’s just… You’ve never done this before and I want this to be special for us both. And I don’t want to hurt you,” he said.
“Why would youhurtme?” I asked. “I’m instigating it. I think I know what I’m doing.”
He paused. “Physically, love,” he said.
“Physically? ...Isn’t sex supposed to feel amazing? People live and die for it,” I said. “They literally start wars. They risk their careers for affairs.”
“Ha!” He ran his hand along my hair. “Yes, they do, don’t they? But you’ve never laid with a man before. It’s different than enjoying his hand or a bedpost. The first time, I’ve heard, is not always pleasant so quickly. Sometimes it might hurt. It might take time before it’s better.”
I rolled my eyes but the peak of my breast vanished between his lips. Desperately, I raked my hand into his mane.
“That feels good,”I whispered. I knotted my fingers as he tugged it with his teeth. “You’re always so good to me. I have no concerns of pain.”
He took the other next.
“And that, I-uh-”
I extinguished whatever sound I had meant to give to him but Cyrus was proud of it. He continued, softly andintentionallydown until my navel. Then he went lower, still.
“You always touch me,” I whined. “I want to touch you.” I gasped as my legs went over his back.
“Soon,” he muttered. “Right now, I’m kissing you, and I enjoy your taste far too deeply to hurry.”
His words should not have struck me as they did, but I was unmistakably their casualty.‘If he is a gentleman, he will kiss you,’belonged to someone I did not wish to think about while a man licked me so intimately and spoke of tastes.
“Willem?” I asked, sensations building.
I wanted him to know how I felt. I wanted to conjure the three little words I had associated with him my whole life. I wanted to feel the relief that evicting them from their prison inside my mind would bring, but I was scared. I could not force them out. I worried he would not say them back.
His hand was coarse and hot against my skin. It slid around my rear, shepherding me deeper into his mouth and soon thinking became a troubling task. The feeling that replaced it was all consuming. He took me closer and closer to the edge with every second and as I was about to sputter whatever bleak attempt of words I could manage, Ibroke like the ocean into a siege of waving senses. When it was over, I sank into the sheets.
Willem navigated through my trembling knees to touch my face.
“I can’t breathe,” I said. “And you are still too dressed.”
“Patience is a virtue, Princess,” he said playfully.
“Iampatient!” I groaned.
He bit the crook of my neck, lightly, then sent me back into the pillows. His hand returned to my sex and I remembered the altar and the way he’d made me see stars. He sat up, leaning onto his knees and bringing my hand to the waist of his pants.
“Are you absolutely certain you want to do this?” he asked, guiding me to his arousal.
I nodded. His erection was as exciting as I remembered. I felt him up and down and then again as he panted my name and closed his eyes. A moan escaped to encourage me. He curled me closer to his body with one arm and untied the string of his slacks with the other. In spite of his usual air of confidence, his question reemerged, weak.
“But you’re sure?”he checked.
“Yes, I’m sure. I’ve been sure my whole life. It’s you, Will. It’s always been you.”
He kissed me; we went back together as one. He pulled himself out and held it in his hand to tempt the slick entrance of my core.
