“W-What?”I was angry again. “What conversation?”
“Are you alright, Svana?”
“When exactly did we discuss that you arenotMr. Cyrus Evergreen?” I asked. “I would distinctly remember this!”
“...In my kitchen. At my cottage. You said you knew who I was?” he said.
“In your…? I most certainly did not say anything of the sort!”
“You did,” he argued. “I went to tell you, and you said you knew, then you insulted me several times and we–”
“That’s what you were saying?! I said I knew youlovedme, not that you were the love of my life!”
He paused.
“It’s you,”I whispered. “It’s really you. But I don’t understand. Why? Why did you trick me? Why did you not just tell me? There’s been ample opportunity. In the market. In the stables. In the church!”
“I didn’t trick you,”he said.
“You absolutely did!Up until I saw your back while you were unconscious, I believed you were Evergreen. But you’re not. And you never told me that you weren’t. Therefore ‘trick.’”
“No, I… That’s not…I didn’twantto,” he said. “I didn'tmeanto even. You really hadnoidea? At no point did it occur to you?Did you recognize me? I knew exactly who you were the moment I saw you in town.”
“You introduced yourself to me as Mr. Evergreen. Why would I suspect that you weren’t Mr. Evergreen?”
“I don’t think I did introduce myself, actually,” he said.
“I—!” I huffed. “You’re arguing semantics with me? Now? You think you have the higher ground in this? Atnopoint did you declare yourself as Willem. You’ve always said Mr. Evergreen. You allow others to call you that, so the assumption is, at some point, you introduced yourself as such, even if it were not to me! Therefore, Iassumedyou were Mr. Evergreen!”
“IamMr. Evergreen,” he said. “That’s legally my name!”
“But— It’s— What?” I asked. “How is it– I just–Well, why did this not come up?Whyhave I spent all summer with you with no idea that you were the boy I talked of every opportunity? Did you want to humiliate me?”
“No,” he said.
“Yes, you did,” I argued. “You asked me questions about him. You mocked me for–”
“I didn’t want to humiliate you,” he said. “Not exactly.”
“Not…exactly?”I asked. The hairs on my arms stood. “Oh, God.” I touched my stomach, slightly turning from him, sick.
“Not… Svana, I confess; I was angry you didn’t recognize me before,” he said. He exhaled, annoyed. “And yes, I did purposely inquire about the boy you mentioned… about myself, for selfish reasoning, but not…. Darling, by the time I realized you were not parodying the boy, me, or loathing himasthe ostler’s boy,I… It was too late. What did you want me to do? Tell you a whole summer after we started whatever this is?”
“Yes. You could have–should have–told me at any point,” I said.
“You’re right.” He nodded. “Yes, I should’ve.”
“If you had told me…” I whispered, losing the end of it.
“If I had told you, you what?” he asked. “You would not have married Sameer?”
Cyrus raked his hands through his bangs.
“...Your hair is different,” I reasoned. “Your hair is different. Your jaw is wider. Your accent has changed. It was so very long ago, and you what? You think I’m just, I’m just the keeper of all the world’s changes?”
“No,” he said, his voice softening. “But I thought... I’m sorry. I should have told you. That is fact.”
“How can I trust you?” I asked.
