“No,” I said, insisting. “You misunderstand what I’m telling you. Ser Elías, the Lord Commander,pickedyou for this journey, and despite my unfiltered protest of including you. He truly believes in your ability. You should as well.”
“Youprotestedincluding me?” The corners of his grin bent. “The Hell, Svana?”
“Yes, I did,” I confessed. “And as cold and selfish as that sounds, or perhaps was in the moment that I begged him not to bring you–”
“Christ. Youbegged?”he asked.
“Yes, Ser Willoughby. I begged. But, as I was saying, in the moment that I was begging, I was not aware of your nature. Your true nature, not what you show people. I did not know you as a person, and it’s not easy for me to… to openly invite someone new into my inner circle, let alone on such an important trip in which my whole life changes for the worse. I was scared. I was naive. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
He knit his brows. “Elías saidyouchose me.”
“He said that? And you believed him?” I asked. “God, maybe youarean idiot. No, I didn't choose you. Until you began riding with me, how many words had I actually ever said to you?”
“I don’t exactly count,” he said.
“Right, but you probably could, yeah?” I asked.
“Things are different. We’re not children anymore; we don’t see each other,” he said.
“We hardly saw each other as children either,” I said.
“Fine. Well, since we’re sharing absurdities, I didn’t care that he said that to me,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “Sure you didn’t.”
“I didn’t!” he said. “I came for a different reason.”
“Oh, you did?” I asked. “And what reason was that? The fine weather?”
He shrugged, then he grinned cheekily. “I think you meanwho.”
It took a moment. I spun on my heel and slacked my jaw. “J-Jocelyn?”
Willoughby neither confirmed nor denied the accusation. He turned away and we began walking back into the Palace.
“Are you in love with her?” I asked, hurrying to catch up.
“Yes,” he said.
I gasped. “Have you been in love with her always?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I–” I laughed. “I can’t believe it.”
“You don’t think your cousin is capable of love?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No.” I caught it, shaking more furiously. “No, I mean, I… I think you should tell her.”
“To what end?” he asked.
“To… To marriage?” I said. “I’m certain she would agree to it, if you declared yourself!”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I can’t offer her marriage.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Of course you can.”
“I’m nobility. She’s not.”
