Mr. Evergreen’s eyes were on me, focused, witnessing themetamorphosishe’d not only promised but inflicted. Rainbows continued across the altar and the floor around our intertwined bodies, as the clouds outside must have moved to release the sun entirely.
Somewhere birds chirped again.
My fingers crept on his chest, barely able with how furiously I shook, and I thought that he might say something,anything, but words were replaced with lips, soft andslowagainst each other.
We remained locked in our strange embrace until the tingling ceased completely, much,muchlater.
Somethinghadchanged. He was right. Something awakened in me, inhimand in theworldthat, up until that moment, had been eternally lifeless. Suddenly, there were wild hues scattered around and my heart had left my chest for, I think, Heaven, for I had never felt closer to God or His light.
Chapter 16
Mr. Evergreen and I walked back the entire way to the Palace but I didn’t mind. He held my hand until we came too close to the grounds for his comfort, but he kissed the back of it before he let it go and apologized for the caution.
Admittedly and eerily, I was attached to him–vulnerable, and I tried my hardest to justify living at the church, but, miraculously, our horses had found their way into the Palace barn. Henry had been there to pin them.
The ostler busied himself the moment we arrived; he gave a half-hearted hello to Mr. Evergreen first, and while he looked at me as he left and offered a kind ‘good day,’ he said nothing else. He, Ice, Edith, and seemingly the whole world remained oblivious to anychangebetween the Sword and I, or to how the sun shined brighter than it ever had before.
Mr. Evergreen smiled. He checked the saddle bags for our things.
“You’re quiet,” he noted.“That’s a first.”
“...Can I see you tomorrow?” I asked. My hands held each other, childishly, as I waited for him to refuse, but he didn’t. In fact, based on the way his face changed withmywords, I realizedhehad been worried himself.
“And the day after, I hope?” he asked.
When I agreed, he was pleased.
Then I felt joy, perhaps for the first time in years. It spread infectiously throughout my core and hated how silly it must have made me look. I hated how hot my cheeks had become. I hated how I stewed in his glow, but… I was a different person. I was his–hisperson. And all I could think about that evening, that night, and the following morning while I dressed and moseyed through my routine like nothing had happened, was how andwhenI would feel him like that again.
It wasn’t long before life returned to peaceful strolls through forests, or games of ‘Catch Me’ or ‘Hide and Seek’ with Ser Willoughby and Miss Jocelyn. Between romantic rolls in haylofts, blooming fields of flowers, and on occasion, the Palace corridors, life was bright. With every stolen kiss, we fabricated an excuse to justify it to each other, and we justified other things to other people, things like why Mr. Evergreen should be the one to escort me to and from town for my dress fittings, or to my bedchamber from our rides after the day was gone.
My handsome, belovedly talented Sword never once invited himself into my suite for more, nor did he hintthat I should offer it. He fondled my breasts over my gowns inside of carriages, then farewelled me every day with a needy kiss, always respecting that line I could not cross. Until one evening, violating the waning boundaries of my virtue was no longer enough for me. Not when all my thoughts were consumed by charming swordsmen and their lips.
During the middle of a ball, I made a brash,impulsivedecision– to leave and see him. It was the obvious result of listening to Aster and Agatha fawn over the men of the court but my longing was real. I needed his sleight of hand along my gloves, or to touch his chest–anything, and by the time their attentions praised Mr. Evergreen himself, their lust surfaced something inside of me that was far worse thanjealousy,far more dangerous—prideful possession.
He was alonein the yard; he was leaving for the evening without a doubt, but when he saw me, it was like he could feel my very thoughts. He grinned, then we found a small patch of corn behind the Palace to entangle into each other. We talked about everything from favorite books to animals. He pointed to the stars above us, explaining constellations, and I pretended not to know their origins, just so that I could hear his perfect vowels and watch his perfect mouth as they formed. When I corrected him, instinctively about one of the tales, he smirked.
“Oh, I see. You’re no stranger to the sky. Did Miss Hellveig teach you these things?” he asked.
“Partly,” I confessed. “Though she died during those lessons, and I do deeply prefer how you tell them, I think.”
He propped himself upon his arm. “She died during those lessons?” The fact sat between us neither heavy nor light. “I see. Was it difficult to lose her so suddenly?” he asked.
“It…” My breath caught, confused or surprised. “I suppose, yes, it was difficult. …But it was a long time ago, and she wasn’t a nice person. I didn’t mourn.”
He hooked his arm to wring his neck, then changed the subject. “You know, you’ve never sought me out past nightfall before. Careful, Princess. I might start to think you like me.”
“Never sought you out past nightfall? That’s not true. Our first ride was at night,” I said.
He chuckled. “Aye, but you were stealing my horse, not looking for me. This is a nice change. In fact, a man could get used to being the Princess’s late night companion.”
I rolled my eyes. Cheekily, he snaked his hand around my waist and drew me closer to kisseverypeak of skin. We quickly knotted into each other, desperately panting.
“Swan,” he managed as my hands traveled curiously. I untied his shirt, before,“Svana.”
“Miss Aster seems to think you’re the hairy sort,” I groaned.
He made a noise. “Shewhat?”Then he turned enough that I was forced to kiss his cheek.
