“Ah, I gather it now,” I said. “You’re not upset with the Prince at all. You’re concerned for my virtue. Again, I’m to marry the man. I–”
“I heard whatSameersaid to you, Your Highness. I may be an old man–”
“Hardly,” I said.
“But I am not a stupid one,” he said. “And I’m certainly not deaf.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” I asked. “No one accused you of being deaf.”
“The hint about hisreddoor.”
“The hint?” I racked my brain. “Oh! You think–”
“Yes. I worry he will-”
“Elías, I am not going to lose myvirginity,so very close to my vows. What would be the point?” I asked. “And do you think I could, even if I wanted to? All I would hear would beyour voicein my ear, rattling on about how badly I was behaving. Andno offense, but I am convinced that any thought of you while participating in that sort of act would ruin the experience for me in every way.”
His face said something else.
“Is that truly your deepest fear?” I sat on the bed, crossing my ankles and patting the place next to me. He didn’t sit. “That I’ll be ruined?” I asked. “Well, what of it? What if I slept with him a couple of months before we were forced into holy matrimony anyway? It’s not as though he can choose not to marry me. He’ll bring a rain of warfare back down upon his citizens with just the thought of discarding the Treaty. You forget its words are only as good as the Prince’s commitment to them. My father would destroy all of Chalke at his misstep. Some days I do believe he wishes it would occur.”
“Commitment goes both ways in a marriage,” Eli explained.
“Not when it’s legally preventing a war,” I said.
“You’re wrong. It’s always important, even then,” Elías said. He groaned and sat beside me, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “You can wear your mask for everyone else, but not with me.”
“What mask?” I asked.
“You pretend like it’s no big deal, but I know who you are. I see you stare, and I see you consider, and I want you to know, it will meanmoreif you wait. Get to know the Prince before you give yourself to him. Ask him questions; play games. Form a friendship. Don’t find yourself in front of hisred door.”
“Stop saying it like that,” I begged.
“I promise, it will make your wedding night worlds beyond anything infatuation could invent if you can just be patient.”
“You old dog,” I said defensively. “I can’t decide if you are just perverse or if you expect me to fall inlovewith the man.”
“You are already quite taken with him,” he said.
“He’sattractive.”I laughed. “And funny. People like him; it’s clear. But charisma is magnetic, isn’t it? You know me better than that.” I fiddled with a detail on his armor. “Besides. Love is not an option for me, Ser. I already found and lost my soulmate.”
Elías sighed. “You were a child,” he said. “You both were.”
“Not according to some,” I argued.
“Svana.”
“Besides. I read a book once where the narrator suggested that the deepest of commitments, be that of romantic pursuits or parental acknowledgment, transcended all things– things like time and distance and existence. Why would age matter if that were true?” I asked.
“Just don’t deny the option for yourself. Lovecouldexist again for you,” he said. “You could love the Prince, and he could love you, and that would befineif you did. I wouldpreferthat you did.”
“It is my duty to marry the Prince,” I told him. “Not to love him. Duty is not love.”
“Duty is the love of one’s people,” he said.
“Fine,” I replied. “Duty is love of empire, but it is the Empire first, and then nothing else.”
“You could find footing in both,” he explained. “Love and duty.”
