“Did I?” she asked.
“You did.”
“My mistake,” she said. “Perhaps we might see swatches tomorrow?”
I stared at her.
“What is it?” she asked.
“You must tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t have any thoughts, my lady,” she said.
“The Prince hates horses. I’m a horse. I feel strange about this fact,” I said. “There. You’re caught up again.”
“Ah, yes.”
“So?” I pressed. “Deliver your thoughts.”
“I do not wish to displease you,” she said. She moved some of the hangers in the closet. “What about tomorrow? Should you wear the blue or the pink? I shall organize your week somehow.”
“Jocelyn,” I said.
“Unless you’d prefer to pick when you rise? Some ladies seize the day like that,” she said.
“Jocelyn, please,” I said again.
She shook her head. “No, you like your plans, I’m told.”
“By whom? My father?”
She peered over her shoulder for but a moment.
“Please?” I asked.“Please?”
Josie fooled with the hook near her hand.
“I’m not asking to… to trick you…” I explained. “That’s what you must think.”
“I would never,” she replied, but her voice was quiet and far.
“It is,” I said. “You think I’m asking you these things to… to I don’t know, but you think there is a punishment if you wound my vanity?”
She didn’t answer it, and she didn’t look at me. She said, “Shall I brush your hair?”
“Did your mistress trick you?” I asked.
She was quieter. “I have no words to say against any lady, Miss Svana.”
“I-” I took a deep breath, if not to steel myself from the obvious avoidance in her reply. Miss Josie had been tricked. I knew she had. I heard my own trepidation in her tone. “I’m lonely,” I confessed. “Not conniving.”
Miss Jocelyn turned around. “Come again?”
I spoke a little louder, though I was equally exposed in my exhibition. “I’m lonely,” I said.
There was an unsettling still. I felt sick, scrambling to configure the notion.
“I’m lonely,” I said once more. “I am asking your opinion on something that bothers me because… because I don’t know who else to ask. I know you are new to our staff; I know there are rumors of my demeanor, but I’m not cruel; I’m…I’m alone.”
