“We aren’t much different, you and I.” He doesn’t meet my gaze. “I’ve hurt more than most, grieved a different kind of love, and became hollow to my own existence. So I can understand how the vulnerable parts make those wounds feel raw and opened.”
Truthfully that’s how I feel. Exposed. I had to account for more of The Devourer’s sins last night than I cared to ask, but was urged on by the council to do so. Opening up his past made mine feel much greater than it had in turns.
Swallowing, I pull his hand and start walking in the direction of my home.
He’s right, there are more conversations that need to be had between us and ones that will change the trajectory of whatever this is. It’s slightly exhilarating.
“I haven’t brought anyone into my space before, in my home I mean.”
I hope he can’t read the nervousness that’s creeping up on me. “My raven, Oak, will be happy to see me, so prepare for her squawking now. She’s timid but very smart. Her coloring is much different than Kina and other ravens from here, she’s an alabaster color.”
He follows along diligently. “A white raven is rare, where did you find one?”
Of all the things he could ask, I’m surprised he settled on my raven. Oak usually isn’t of interest to most people, which I’m generally glad for.
“I didn’t find her actually, she found me. She was just a fledgling and I assume she had gotten lost. I fed her myself until she molted from her baby down.”
I remember the snow—white ball landing in my lap as I sat upon a rock in the Siltar Woods long ago. Those woods gave and took often enough, so I tried to leave the wicked thing where it had landed, but Oak had already imprinted on me in the time it took to get her back to the nest she fell from.
He looks to me and says, “White ravens were once said to be messengers of the veil, connected to the goddess and sent to her most loyal believers.”
I had heard this before, long ago by an old merchant. He tried buying Oak from me and promptly looked disappointed when I said no.
Straying from the path, I follow a less worn trail that leads through two tall arbor trees, their needles woven so thick among their branches, they easily appear as two sentinels at the beginning of my home’s walkway.
We reach the pathway of cracked stones and moss. The springy lichen is one of my favorite things about this place, the way it seems to mend the broken slabs of rock.
Calm rushes over me as I see my familiar threshold, the heavy door painted with little flowers where the brass knocker is located.
Kassiel abruptly comes to a stop, his body turning statuesque. My hand twists as I continue, not noticing his stillness until I’m literally tugging on him.
Facing him I ask, “Everything okay?”
I follow his gaze to see what he’s staring at and notice he’s transfixed on the flowers I’ve planted along my stoop. The white bell lilies that mean so much to me.
Looking back at him, I study the emotion that settles over his face. When he notices me, he quickly shakes his head and fixes his expression into something unreadable.
He clears his throat and a whisper comes out. “How did those come to be here?”
It feels so trivial, like he’s enamored by a simple detail that is meaningless.
I laugh shakily. “Uh, well, I planted them here. The Lily Bells are my favorite.”
With the uneasy smile plastered to my face, I begin to speak again. “They remind me of my family, of my past. They’re perhaps the most beautiful thing left of that time.”
His face blanches and he’s noticeably paler. My smile quickly falls and I take a step closer to him.
“What’s wrong, Kassiel?”
He makes the smallest step toward me but abruptly stops with his hand extended to me. His eyes widen, as if he’s seeing me for the first time. I feel helpless as he stands there, in whatever horror that’s taken hold.
His green orbs bounce back and forth between mine. I watch myself in the mirror of his gaze, standing hopelessly.
His jaw slacks open, lingering for a moment before he promptly snaps it shut. Mist begins to form along his lashline.Witnessing the devastating portrait in front of me is enough to force me into his arms, to catch him while he breaks.
“Kassiel, I’m here.”
I wrap my arms around him as it’s the only thing I can think of to do. I’ve watched people break apart before. Though this time it’s like witnessing the earth shatter.
