“It was like,” I pause, thinking of the word, “like every memory I had was projected into a million fragments that somehow looked like smoke, but thicker. And worse, when Euron stole bits of it, it’s like I couldfeelhim inside me. He absorbed parts of my soul. Then the oracle did the same to him and forced me to accept some of his soul. I could see all his atrocities, all the harm he’d caused, all the violations of others he wanted to do. The intimate pleasure he found in the moment watching me fight him.”
My stomach turns and I grab my jaw and massage the clenched thing.
I dare not look at her, not now.
“The worst part was that it was like looking into a mirror and you can’t tell what’s yours and what’s his. For a long time I didn’t know if the pleasure and release that was found during that fucked up ritual was mine, or if I had seen it through Euron’s eyes. I guess I still don’t.”
We approach an even smaller cottage than Alora’s. It’s tucked away behind two giant trees that reach clear to the opening of the cavern. Looking closer, it appears that the cottage is builtintothe tree, as if it’d been hollowed out.
A warm hand grabs mine and pulls me to a stop even though my feet desperately want to keep moving, as if I could run away from this confession.
“Kassiel,” she begins. When I don’t look at her she moves closer to me and whispers in my ear, “No matter if you had somehow found pleasure in it, you couldn’t have given consent. Not when you were drugged. Do not let that blame fall on you for what you did or didn’t do.”
I move my cheek to her lips and she plants a warm kiss there. It thaws the icy part of my heart that’s tucked this harsh reality away.
“Thank you for not saying you were sorry for me,” I whisper back to her. I didn’t want her pity, I’d spent years pitying myself.
She nods, her head hanging low next to mine.
“Sometimes,” she says quietly, “we just need to be heard.”
She squeezes my hand before moving away slightly.
As she nods, she wipes away a stray tear and speaks, “It is this way to Naaveen’s, you were correct.”
Relief that she didn’t press for further details floods over me, washing me in something akin to moving forward. It’s forgiveness for myself.
“But Kassiel,” she adds, “I will kill him for what he has done to you.”
Her eyes have turned to stone, cool and hard. She looks like she’s vowing to the goddess herself. A sense of twisted pride seizes my heart and I grab her hand again before we move forward to speak with Naaveen.
After our conversation with Naaveen in his cottage, we decided it best to call The Hidden together for an informal meeting.
“What stones specifically, do you know?” The fiery haired Jessamine asks me.
I didn’t have to explain aspects of the binding to Euron again thankfully as Alora states the facts and left out a lot of other parts.
“Just that they were black onyx, but I’m not sure why they glowed red.” It’s the truth, I’d never seen anything like it before.
Helena paces in the background as Jessamine and Naaveen peer over an opened book together, scouring for any mentions of the Siorai Ban.
The older white haired lady, Helena, asks me something next. “But you said that you thought it was weakened with the Blood Moons? But why?”
I shrug while lost in thought.
Jessamine pipes in again, “Well he has to have the stones near him, I’m sure he wouldn’t go through all that trouble just to lose them?”
Alora nods in agreement. I’d noticed her quietness looming, and a few times, I’ve found her to be watching me. Her foot taps the floor incessantly. Something I’ve learned she does when she’s nervous or wandering her mind.
“So we go look for them.”
All faces turn to look at who speaks which is none other than my fierce warrior, Alora.
She pushes herself upwards from her chair. “We don’t know what they do exactly, but whatever they are, we need them. It’s got to be part of why the king remains strong. If we’re to free Kassiel, we need those stones.”
Naaveen mutters in agreement.
I look at the different council members who whisper back and forth to one another.
