“What happened, honey?”
I looked up and met Kindra’s gaze. “I fell in love.”
“And Ford?”
“Him too.”
“So you fell in love with him and he fell in love with you, and you broke up with him.” Alex looked at me like I’d grown an extra head.
“There was the part about him not telling me he wasn’t just a bartender.” I sounded defensive because I was.
“But you didn’t know about that before you snuck out of the hotel room in the middle of the night.” Clearly Ford had been talking to Erik, and Erik had been talking to Alex. “So that’s not the relevant part, is it?”
I wanted it to be. I wanted to hold onto the lie of omission. To throw myself on that so I didn’t have to deal with the harder part.
“No.”
“Hell, Charlotte, half the time when you’re picking up guys, you pretend you’re me.” Elena put a cup of coffee in my hand.
It didn’t smell like Ford’s homemade orange liqueur, but it still smelled delicious.
“I thought you liked that.” She’d seemed okay with it when we joked about it in the past.
“I am. I’m fabulous. I can see why you’d want to be me.” She rested a hand on my head and I turned in to her touch. “I’m just pointing out that maybe you want to cut him some slack. You’re prickly about career stuff. He had reason to believe you might not handle it well.”
I dug around in the box for one of the chocolate mocha cupcakes so I didn’t have to answer right away. I hated being wrong about stuff. But maybe not as much as I hated feeling like this.
“You’ve been telling yourself a story about relationships—understandable considering what you do. I’m wondering if that story still serves you. If you might not want something different than what you’ve let yourself have.”
Having a therapist for a friend was a mixed blessing. Having a baker for a friend was all blessing. I took a bite of the delicious cupcake and weighed my options.
“I think I fucked up.”
––––––––
I’D DEBATED TURNING Erik down when he asked me to have the co-ed bridal shower for him and Alex at my bar, but I owed him. It wasn’t his fault things with Charlotte flamed out so spectacularly. I couldn’t say I was looking forward to the emotional cutting of seeing her again, but I couldn’t look away either.
I could have delegated setup and service to a handful of people. Instead, I’d been at the bar helping get things ready since four in the afternoon. Every time the door opened, I looked up expecting to see her and feeling that pit-of-my-stomach disappointment when it wasn’t her.
“You must be Ford.” A polished powerhouse of a woman strode toward my spot at the bar. If she wasn’t in charge of something, she needed to be. Competence rolled off her. She offered her hand and I took it, still trying to figure out what was going on.
“I’m Elena. Bridesmaid and makeshift wedding planner. I’ve been dealing with your chef about the details for tonight. Is everything ready for us? Is there anything you need from me?”
She was Charlotte’s friend. I could think of half a dozen things I needed from her, none of which would matter if Charlotte was still sure loving each other wasn’t worth the risk. I hadn’t realized I was still holding out hope until I had the thought.
“No, we’re ready. Come on. I’ll introduce you to the chef so you can go over any last-minute details.” I motioned her around the bar and led her through the door to thekitchen
I found the chef going over appetizer prep with the sous chef and introduced him to Elena. When I turned to head back to the bar, she put her hand on my arm, stopping me.
“Be easy with her. She’s trying and she’s worth it.”
“I know she’s worth it. I’ve known it since the moment I met her. But I can’t make her take a chance on love, and I don’t want to live with less.” It might have been okay before, but now that I’d seen what it could be like, I wanted the whole thing. Two people looking out for each other, building something together. Eyes light up when you see each other, you’re my person and I’m yours kind of love. I still wanted all of that with Charlotte. Settling for less would hurt us both.
Elena tipped her head to the side, considering me. “You’re an interesting man. I can see how you got her twisted up. I’m not saying you should settle; just be patient with her. And if you ever lie to her again—lie or omission or whatever—we have no problem disposing of a body.” She winked at me and let go of my arm.
Under other circumstances, the implied violence, deserved or not, might catch me, but my brain stuttered over everything she’d said about Charlotte. Hope I hadn’t known I had set up residence in my chest. I opened the door to the bar and saw Charlotte sitting on the same stool she’d been on the night we met.
“Bombay Sapphire martini dirty, right?” My voice didn’t shake, which was a miracle considering the way my heart was hammering.
