It’s not that I’m vain.I have an extra ten pounds to lose and areas on my body that I hate, just like every other woman.But one of the things I’ve learned running the Gentleman’s Submissive and getting naked in front of men was that they don’t care.Like at all.Put a pair of halfway decent naked breasts in front of them and most of them have trouble remembering their own names.They’re lost, making the visual equivalent ofgimmehands.A few extra pounds or cottage cheese thighs don’t hit the radar.They truly don’t care.
I’ve gotten very comfortable with my body, not because I thought I looked so great.Simply because I realized the naked one has the power.I might be flashing my tits but the guy in the suit is the one suffering from lack of blood to the brain.At least that had been the case for every man except Erik fucking Jensen.
He wasn’t even supposed to be here.I never intended for things to go so far.I figured I’d give him the price, demand twice my normal payment and watch him scurry away.It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that he’d actually cough up the money, but even after that, I should’ve been able to handle things.Strip off my clothes, watch the counselor’s brain go soft while the rest of him got hard and wait out our time.
Except it wasn’t his brain that turned to mush; it was mine every time I caught a glimpse of his wrist resting against the handle of the damn flogger, looking as comfortable with it in his hand as if he’d used it every day.And now he was talking about touching me and limits and calling me kitten, and I didn’t know what to hope for.The only thing I knew for sure was that he was different than any other client I’d ever worked with.
“Stand still,” he said, pinning me with his much too-perceptive gaze.
I’d used every trick I could think of to project a confidence I didn’t feel, but I didn’t think it mattered.I had a feeling Jensen could see through every mask I put on.I froze, working hard to keep from fidgeting on my heels.Wearing less than a pocket square’s worth of fabric, I stood in front of him and waited.He crossed his arms over his chest, the tails of the flogger juxtaposed against the custom cut of his suit, emphasizing the businessman-turned-pirate vibe I’d gotten earlier.He was gorgeous, sexy and strong, and barely civilized and for reasons I was not willing to look at too closely, I wanted to please him.I waited for him to tell me what came next because I wanted to know.
I’d spent plenty of time in my studio wearing nothing more than a G-string, but for the first time, standing in front of him with Erik watching me, I felt naked.It was nerve-racking, and overwhelming, and delicious all at the same time, and the longer we stood there facing each other, the stronger the feeling got.
“You are so beautiful,” he said and the honest appreciation in his voice washed over me like a caress.“Do you trust me?”
My smirk answered the question for me, and he laughed, a deep throaty chuckle that tightened something low in my body.
“Let me rephrase that.Do you trust me not to hurt you?Do you feel physically safe with me?”
I didn’t have to think about that one.I wouldn’t have brought him to the studio if I hadn’t known I was safe with him.Well, notsafeexactly.I had a feeling I was in way over my head and if this went where I thought it was going, I was pretty sure much of what I believed would be shredded and replaced with something else.But I also knew he wouldn’t hurt me and I believed he’d respect my limits.I wanted to find out.It felt as if I was standing on the edge of something, peering over, and I wanted to see the other side.At a bare minimum, I owed it to my clients.At least that was the bullshit lie I told myself.In reality, it was Alex, not Lexi, who wanted to find out what it would be like with a man like Erik.
“Yes.”I nodded, agreeing to more than the question he’d asked.
“Good.”He set the flogger aside and reached for the knot of his tie.
My mouth practically watered in anticipation as he loosened the silk.He pulled the tie free of his collar with a snap, and I sucked in a breath, anxious to get a glimpse of the hard body hidden under his custom suit.I had an idea of how strong he was from the way he’d caught me when I’d stumbled.I couldn’t wait to see if the reality matched my imagination.
He popped open the button at his collar, revealing a triangle of tanned skin.Instead of shedding his jacket like I’d expected, he closed the distance between us, still holding the tie in his hands.
I felt naked and vulnerable.I wanted him to go away, and I wanted him to touch me.It was a race to see which feeling was stronger.
“You’re going to need a safe word,” he said, and all the breath left my body.
Honestly, what the fuck was I expecting?Of course, I needed a safe word.It’s just that I was usually the one telling clients that, explaining things and soothing their nerves.Jensen didn’t need me to explain anything, but I had a feeling he was going to expect something I’d never given.My surrender.I’d spent a significant amount of time playing submissive to help my clients get in touch with their dominant sides, but I’d never actually submitted.I might be the naked one, but I controlled what happened in the studio.
I topped from the bottom, and I didn’t know if I was ready to change that.The alternative was walking away, and no matter how I’d felt in the beginning, I was too curious to turn away now.
“Mercy,” I said, hoping I hadn’t just bit off more that I could chew.“My safe word is mercy.”
“Good girl.”He reached up to cup my cheek and I bloomed at his praise, ignoring the fact that I was naked as I leaned into his touch.
What the hell?I didn’t have daddy issues.I grew up in an upper middle-class home with two parents and basically no conflict.Nobody’d molested me.Growing up, my parents had been proud of me and told me so.I wasn’t starving for some man’s approval.I never had been.So what was up with the way my body reacted to Jensen?He commanded, and I wanted to comply.I didn’t understand it and I didn’t like it.Or rather, my mind didn’t like it.My body was on board with any plan the arrogant attorney had, as evidenced by the fact that I was practically squirming to keep from throwing myself into his arms.
“Close your eyes, Alexandra.”
God, I loved the way it sounded when he said my name.I did what he said and felt him move to stand behind me.Curiosity and nerves made me tremble, and when I finally felt the silk touch my face, I jumped.
“Easy.I’ll take care of you,” he said, his breath hot against my ear.
Again with the words I shouldn’t want to hear.I was more than capable of taking care of myself.But I’d have to clue my body in quick.Despite what I thought, my body seemed eager to let Jensen take the lead.
“If you want to stop or if any of this gets to be too much, I want you to use your safe word.I mean it, Alexandra.This is your first time.”
I let out an unladylike noise at the idea that I was some kind of innocent.I made my living taking off my clothes.If you took skydiving, climbing the Himalayas, and threesomes out of the mix, I didn’t have all that many firsts left.
Erik wrapped his fist around my ponytail and gave it a gentle tug.Not hard enough to hurt, just enough to bring my attention firmly back to the present.
“Trust me,” he said, pressing his body along my back, his lips barely a breath from my ear.“I can tell.What do you say if you want me to stop?”
