Chapter Twenty-Three
There’s something I meant to tell you about this morning,” Damien said, straightening the silverware on his napkin. “But you were in such a hurry to get to the office I barely got a word in before you shoved me out the door.”
He grinned at Mandy sitting across the table from him, thinking how ironic it was that she had been the one eager to rush off to work and he’d been thinking that just once in a while it would be nice to spend the day lounging in bed.
“Well, really, no one was expecting you to be there today, since you cancelled all your appointments, but if I didn’t show up, it would look really bad. Like I don’t go to work when my boss is out of town.”
Mandy had a tight black top on with a black-and-white floral skirt, though he couldn’t see the knee-length skirt under the table. But he had a great view of the top and her healthy cleavage spilling from the open neck. She had put on a necklace, a little oval encrusted with diamonds, and it dipped enticingly toward her breasts. When she sat back, her belly rounded under the stretchy shirt, and he thought she was the hottest, sexiest woman in existence.
“For all they know, you could have taken a personal day.” He knew she was right, but it had been difficult to walk away from her to head home and change his clothes.
Then when he’d gotten to the office, she had hidden from him. It had been a long, torturous day where he had walked around with the knowledge that he loved Mandy and she loved him. It had seemed like something so momentous should call for at least one day off, and he’d paced around the eighteenth floor restlessly, until Rob had told him he was scaring the employees and could he just stay in his office if he was going to pace and scowl?
He was starting to think that Mandy had set up a cubicle in the woman’s restroom, because he hadn’t seen her all day. And now he was starved for her.
“Damien, executives can do what they want. Secretaries can’t. Everyone talks and watches and gossips and they already think it was odd that I went to Punta Cana with you. And they are all catching on to the fact that I’m bursting out my clothes.”
“And quite beautifully.” He couldn’t help but glance at her chest again.
“Oh, stop it, you dirty man,” she said, laughing. Then, “Actually, on second thought, don’t. I like this side of you. But you know, I’m going to have to quit this job. If we’re going to be involved, that is.”
“We are.” He was firm on that point. Beyond firm. He was concrete on that—solid, steel determination.
“There are too many conflicts of interest. I don’t want everyone in the office talking about me.”
“So we’ll just switch you with someone else’s assistant. You don’t have to quit.” He didn’t want to be the cause of that. He didn’t want to give her any stress or cause to worry about her health benefits. “Though it brings me to tears to give you up, I can see the wisdom of us not working directly together.”
She laughed. “What a gesture. You mean, you’ll be willing to go on the Great Assistant Hunt all over again? Just for me. How sweet.”
“Sweet is not normally a word used to describe me. But yes, I’ll suffer through another Lanie for you.” He was starting to think he’d do just about anything for Mandy. “Anyway, I’m trying to tell you something.”
“What’s that?” Mandy took a sip of her diet soft drink and licked her lips.
Damien frowned. He’d been so busy staring at her breasts he hadn’t really noticed what she’d ordered. “Should you be drinking that? They’re really not sure about the safety of aspartame.”
She was still smiling, but her eyes got a little sharp. “I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that.”
“What? You read the book—didn’t it say that?” He hadn’t dreamt that. He hadn’t even slept the night before.
“It’s just an occasional Diet Coke.” Her fingers tightened around the glass. “I’ve given up coffee, deli meat, sushi, sleeping on my back, taking an aspirin when I have a headache. I’ve given up all pretensions of modesty, I’ve given up my shop, and I’ve given up wine and all other forms of alcohol. I can have a soft drink here and there.”
Geez, here was the irritable thing, apparently. Damien reached for a compromise. “So, just drink regular Coke, then. It doesn’t have aspartame.”
“Are we negotiating?”
“Yes.” The very thought made him smirk. The look on her face caused him to straighten up and slap a sober expression in place of the grin though.
But then she smiled. “Deal. And what is it you wanted to say?” Mandy looked around the restaurant, which was a sterileand cool Pan-Asian place. “And when is the food going to get here? I’m absolutely starving.”
She was being a little snarky, she knew it. But she was hungry and tired. Staying up all night having sex had sapped her energy. Fatigue was one more thing to stress over. She was having a little trouble picturing herself waking every two hours to feed an infant.
Plus, she was worried about Damien. He loved her. She believed that he did, sincerely. But he wasn’t discussing the future with her, and while she couldn’t blame him, since they were just getting started on their relationship, she felt a sense of urgency. This wasn’t the same for her as it was for him.
He probably needed to take things slowly, cautiously. After all, his wife had died, violently. Mandy was the first woman he’d had sex in all that time, the first woman he had expressed feelings for.
But while he needed to adjust, she felt the need to know her future now. She had enough concerns and fears and life changes, she just didn’t think she could wait around and see how all this was going to turn out.
She wanted a commitment or she didn’t want anything at all. Her heart, her willpower, wasn’t strong enough to continue on dating him indefinitely, waiting for him to figure out what he might want. Regardless of how she felt, her child was her number one concern.
